[D1RT]

everybody loves raymond is more painful than that time i stuck the pencil in my urethra.

...when i woke up this evening it was on the TV.

i think i subliminally got dumber by sleeping through it with the volume on.

yea so i wrote THE DIRT CYCLE:PREFACE describing my life status prior to the begining of the end, as my coworker/friends call it, at Tweeter.

but thanks to bill gates being a cock depository my explorer closed itself.

so it's not meant to be.

we will start tomorrow with THE DIRT CYCLE sans the preface.

I leave you with this though...

a really really hot girl came up to me and toddbot on the beach today.. i mean hot. the kind of girl that i would suspect is on alot of medication if she's walking up to talk to me.

this girl was obnoxious.

and NOT ON ANY DRUGS.

I couldn't believe it. she asked me 5 times how long i was staying down here. where i was staying. where i'm from. she was from NY. OMG the bars are sooo much cooler there. the answer was the same each time.

"I live here," i responded again politely, blinded by her perfect body and incredibly straight teeth. paying no mind to her blatant retardation.

untill the last time she asked me... i started laughing uncontrollably... when she asked what i was laughing at I said "nothing"... then there was an awkward silence... a silence that lasted for a good minute or so as we stared at our beers.

then my friend frank says to me "so nick, how long are you gonna be staying down here at the shore?"

and i lost it. we all did. she felt stupid...

and she was.

but man she was hot.

i didnt even ask her for her number. all her male friends kept coming over saying "come back to the towel" and stupid shit like that.. but she stayed for an hour or so.. never shut up the whole time. didn't hear a word i said. totally self-absorbed. I was impressed that she told me her favorite band at the moment was Down... Totally taken aback. but it was all downhill from there...

plus i had to pay the STUPID 16 YEAR OLD BEACH TAG WHORES 10 dollars to sit on the beach today and tomorrow. why didn't i buy the 15 dollar season one? because it's too good of a deal. and i hate ventnor.

"do you have your beach tags?"

"no, do you?"

"hahahaha i have a whole bag of them!"

"did you buy any of them?"

"well, no"

"then you're a bit of a fucking hypocrite wouldn't you say?"

another awkward silence.

"...so do i get a discount because a bird shit on my cooler?"

no such luck.

Posted by dirt at June 26, 2005 01:46 AM