THE TWEETER YEARS.
the begining of the end of this:
this is the kind of pull i had with this company.. I could order funny nametags and business cards all day... wasting their money was fun... but it was a joy I took for granted...
a joy that would soon be washed away like so many asians in a tsunami...
thats fucked up..
but on with the show..
Tweeter.
fuck Tweeter.
I gave alot of my time, money and sanity to that shithole. In clothes ALONE I spent alot of my paycheck... Burrberry, Gucci, Armani... All traded for Carhardt, various free radio station t-shirts, and plain white tank tops.
Not only was I, along with my good pal Frank Mangold the top earning and most productive people there, but we were also working there from the opening.. Frank atually opened the store, i joined up months later.
My job was an in house designer. i design your system, piece it together, install it, show you how to use it. I started as a lowly salesman that knew nothing, and after a while was entrusted with many titles in the store... Monster Cable Specialist, In Home Specialist, and other trivial things.
I did an In Home job for a $25,000 dollar bill for a gentleman whos name i shouldnt say. But his name was DON PETINELLI. He was an INSULT to the italian nationality. DON PETINELLI. An old fucking rich piece of garbage from MARGATE NJ that got me fired by being a faggot lying fag fuck.
My commisions on something like that is fairly nice... considering the TV alone was around 10 grand with a whole lot of expensive audio... and audio pays WELL. So I'm more than cordial... Downright nice. I was always nice to these people... occasionally they would mistake my kindness for weakness and I would have to put them in check, but this had yet to happen with this douche.
I do the job for the guy, he's a complete asshole the entire time... But I stayed cool.. My installation team couldnt show up on a date we planned, and he starts yelling and threating at me. Like I schedule them. Like I won't beat his fucking face in if he tried to attack me. Telling me he's going to send guys down there.. I said go right the fuck ahead don, i'm here till 9. He apologizes afterwards and we continue on...
So it gets installed, I get paid and he's out of my life forever.
So i think.
About a year later this piece of fucking trash cocksucker faxes a letter of complaint about me. That I won't return his calls (messages he left that apparently never made it to me) that I am a horrible consultant and all this TOTAL BULLSHIT.
Motive? I'd say to get some money back if possible... I'd also say because his pride was hurt due to the fact he was too FUCKING STUPID to operate a remote control.
I was pissed.
I recieved the letter, made a fresh copy to hand to my manager, as per corporate policy, and took it back to my desk.
At the time, the assistant manager, whos name I also shouldnt mention... JACK SHARP... was on duty that day. we were cool. we had fun together and beside the fact that he wanted to appear better and smarter than everyone else, he was a cool guy. This little tool told me about how he was a karate expert and he snapped some kids leg one time... Total bullshitter. Workwise, me and Frank were better at what we did then him. We sold more. We'd done bigger sales. People liked us much more, coworker and customer.. but he wanted to think he was just the shit.
welp turns out he was the shit..
a piece of shit.
So i take his letter (my copy) and dissect it... dissect it in a way you would expect from me, laden with curse words and hilarious sexual comments. never meaning to show this letter to everyone.. citing that the only reason he was upset with me is because my dick is fully functional and well hung... and other such truths.. i showed it to jack.. he laughed...
me and jack used to make prank phone calls to Best Buy.. and record them.. I wish i could get my hands on them they were hilarious... when I say me and jack, obviously I mean me. I did the talking, he did the recording and laughing.
One time we called Best Buy and i convinced the security people that I had knocked over a wall of dvds and was trapped under them somewhere in the DVD aisle.. i told them all i could see was the front cover of the Cast Away DVD so I must be around the C section..
One time I called the computer techs and told them that i brought my computer in and accidently forgot to delete the pictures of me having sex with my grandchild.
But despite all that joking around, Jack Sharp saw his chance to take out the head of this organization of The Mays Landing tweeter... you see we had a new manager that replaced our old replacement which replaced our older replacement.. We had shitty managers.. they all got fired or demoted.. the only reason that store continued to run as well as it did was because of people like me and Frank... well, Jack Sharp being the faggy little cocksucking pimple faced faggot fuck of a cocksucker he is, decided it was time to get more of a grip on the crew at Tweeter..
The crew loved me. They loved Frank. We knew our shit, and we always helped them... when we were out smoking weed in Franks car all day... they had our backs. Even our REGIONAL manager knew me and Frank smoked weed... His name was MIKE HOINSKI. He was a fucking peice of trash too... he had no fashion sense, he would wear brown corderoys with a navy blue blazer, pink tie and white shirt... all looking fresh from the apartment floor. In fact, the regional manager BEFORE him actually SAW us smoking a bong before work in JON PINARD's car... Of course this is the guy that was so high on coke all day he never blinked. Frank and SEAN EDWARDS saw coke residue on the inside of his acura. I won't say his name. he was cool.
We got fucked up at Tweeter. All day and on all sorts of shit. We called the place "Tweeker". Pills, lines, weed, booze... everything. I would close $30,000 dollar sales while falling asleep from 5 percocets.. But all that was coming to a close.
Jack Sharp shows the letter to the FAT FUCK NEW MANAGER name Jeff Rider. Jeff Rider was a fat fucking cocksucker who pretended to be cool.. In fact he went out to the bar with us one night.. where he talked about how cool he was and ate a bunch of shit, all while managing to smell like a fucking sewer. Really he just wanted to infiltrate the head of this store (which was doing well) and get rid of the percieved trouble makers (the ones who made work fun) and get a firmer grip on the submissive ones.
So I get fired.
dreams of $50,000 a year crushed.
almost 3 years of service down the drain.
and then...
unemployment checks.
unemployment checks Tweeter tried to not give me..
but guess what Tweeter. I got them, didn't I? You Boston fuckers. You and your entire New England Patriots loving team of idiotic corporate fuckheads can all suck my cock. You paid me 900 dollars every two weeks for 9 months.
After that.... depression..
and after THAT....
CONSTRUCTION.
THE DIRT CYCLE shall takeover from here..
Posted by dirt at July 1, 2005 03:01 PMtits
Posted by: shftleft at July 1, 2005 03:11 PMYou really should've known better than to trust that Don Petinelli guy... there IS no such thing as a "$25,000 dollar bill". Not even in Monopoly. Somebody once showed me a $10,000 bill, and said i could have it if i let him touch my area. So i was all, "Shure, why not". Totally worth the trauma, right? WRONG! I went to spend it on a Micky Mantle rookie card and got laughed out of the store.
Later Shft told me that $10,000 bills aren't blue. And they certainly DON'T have chickens on them. And, in appreciation for his advice... i let him touch my area.
Posted by: ninjamonkeygeek at July 1, 2005 05:28 PMWell, rumors of your supoosed rule are greatly true. I have to admit that you had a very tight strangle hold on the store and the politics at large. And you did have a run of terribly incompitent managers, and I did think that there was really no way around it, and decided to melt, there was really nothing anyone could do. However, you should know that aside form dennis or pinard (another winner) you were not nearly as popular as you think. At teh managers meeting you were always brought up in the most negative context, made fun of regularly... and you think tom onufrak liked you, or mike H, but they just put on a face and discussed you as exactly as you are, the same type of person you descibed me as. Now, I have to admit you hit me on the mark, but you fit the mold better then I. This very post of yours is evidense of that, yet you are to self-diluted to even realize that as you write it. Just so you know, the store immeadiately began doing significantly better. The best thing that ever happened to that store was getting rid of you. And I mean very literally "getting rifd of" like overstuffed selfindulgent vermin who shook when he should have jived.
BTW frank was liked. and even he just didnt feel like dealing with you. and form what I hear, little has changed....
nice hearing from you, you were a funny mother fucker. I actually do miss that sometimes... but my check sure dont.
PS congratulations on the new bisness... hows it feel to work for someone who stole your idea... that must suck.
Posted by: faggy little cocksucking pimple faced faggot fuck of a cocksucker at October 6, 2005 08:17 PMlet me preface my response with this: overstuffed selfindulgent vermin. roflmao loloaozlzlzlolzoozl.
couldnt you have written this when i wrote it? or did someone else find it by searching your name like 3 months ago? this is old news and frankly the last of the resentment i had for you was deposited, like urine from my incredibly large penis in a toilet, via the blog i wrote about it... now to flush that urine away..
- i know about the managers meetings. oh wait i'm stupid. charlie told me on several occasions.. and it wasnt only him that told me.. though i'd say you're exaggerating it.. not that it matters, every person at the managers meeting was by definition a manager, "the best cocksucker of the bunch"... the one that didn't mind giving that reach around when it was needed.. you know it, i know it, and i could care less about anything any of you had to say. shit, look at that bunch... hahaha. wow... i soley cared about the customers, some coworkers, and anything/anyone that could in anyway help me. corporate cocksuckers like bob beatty and all the other 2 faced fakes (yourself included) mean and meant absolutely nothing to me. i wasnt there to impress douche bags. if you're an asshole, i'll treat you like one. personally, i dont need 2 faces to do that effectively... besides, i wasnt going to sell speakers for the rest of my life, especially not for an unstable company... but hey, good luck with that.
- you can bet that when I made fun of anyone in the company, it was certainly alot funnier.
- tom onufrak may or may not have sold me marijuana. if other people werent involved, i'd be more than happy to explain that further.
-Mike H? the fuck did i care if Mike H liked me? i never said he did, in fact i knew he didnt. and why would i care? that man is a loser. he came into the company, made claims about how he was going to put the company up X percent or he was gonna quit... well, he didnt hit the mark, but he stayed... smells like bullshit. that guys trash dressed up in a pink shirt with blue pants.
-i understand in your struggle to find valid points to state you probably get a bit flustered because you can't find many... we all know why the mays landing tweeter is getting more business. are you stupid? you must think i am... well, it's definitly not the fault of one or any members of the staff. besides that, have you forgotten that i sold more than you? and not only that, took less ups that you? you were all over everyone like the typical cheese salesman you are, i did nothing and sold more than you. thats gotta sting. maybe thats why everyone had a problem with me.. because i wasnt like you idiots, i did things my way, because it was better.
- you know nothing of frank and i... hahaha.
you didnt hear from me. you heard of me. i am a funny mother fucker, i know. i get alot of hits... besides what kind of self absorbed person wouldnt know that about themself?
wow nice personification. you should be a writer, not a tv salesman. i'm glad your "check doesn't miss me"... because it certainly would be alot smaller if i was there to pwn noobs like yourself... in reality all the money in the world wouldnt tempt me to reach your level of douchebaggery.
you are a two faced dick that deserves to drown in his own ignorance. i can only hope that you shit your pants when you do die.
sincerely,
nick
PS-Lan centers dont make money... lots of upkeep, 5 dollars an hour isnt alot of money, electricity, etc... our web design and tech
dept. however do.. and actually, it feels good working for someone who found that out for me.. good thing i'm an excellent technician.
80% of that, much like the other one I hardily agree with, and yes, someone directed me to this just recently and its been so long since I heard your self absorded (though of humorous quality)drivel I simply had to say hello. I will tell you that while in some ways you did "help" moral, it was only in contrast to the amazing ability Larry had to snuff it out. With lLarry not there, your methods were infantile, counterproductive, and rediculously unpopular, on more levels then I think your self centered mind would allow you to conceive. You and I have far too much in common to take pot shots, as I assume it would only serve duely as self-critique, but I will tell you that by all standards of the "higher brow" persona you attempt in many ways to mimic, you are infantile, immature, and have a terrible self image you just cant help but fight openly in every venue you can find. Armani doesnt make highbrow, not when you were living with your parents or between shitty apartments or without a car for years on end.
Your point of view is powerfull, intellectual, and in many degrees on the money with reality. If you could just stop letting that get amplified through the other dimwitted, "angry young man" bullshit you would be alot better off. and if you master that, tell me how. I am sure I could use that sort of expertise.
I am thinking that in the future we should do this on a point-for-point basis (one I am sure you are familiar with), as I imagine it may prove more entertaining.
Posted by: two faced dick at October 7, 2005 04:27 PMcorection to my unproofed (obviously) first line:
"80% of that, much like the other one I hardily DISAGREE with"
Posted by: Two faced Dick at October 7, 2005 04:29 PMthink what you like.
i couldn't care less. i have no desire to continue discussing the little points of an even littler topic. we can argue the small points all day, but in the end, you're still a two faced dick. the meat and potatos of the story is inarguably correct. the reason i even wrote it, beside hoping you'd see it, is to tell the tale of a dick. you are a dick, in fact, as far as this story goes, you are THE dick. you pretended to not be a dick, though not convincingly and basically went out of your way to get me fired... what does that make you? a fucking douche bag. thats my point.. also known as fact.
but in order to do a point-to-point discussion, you'd have to have a point, which your comments have been completely devout of. not only that, your future of wasting my time with the bullshit propaganda you've been programmed with will only last as long as i'm too lazy to ban your IP. not that i would do that, but i'm self centered, so what else would i say?
and while you and your homies are here, click on the ads.. i need the revenue to move into my next shitty apartment lololool.
Posted by: dirt. at October 8, 2005 07:27 PMoh and kill whoever "proofed" that line.
it's spelled heartily.
You meant "Devoid".... not "devout"... Dirtbag
Its not that there is no point, its that the point is beyond you. And yes, if your FINALLY being fired only to fall into depression and destitution, no matter how temporary, giving me joy makes me a dick, I accept that title proudly.
That being said, I hope things are working out for you now. Take that anyway you wish. TA TA Cock Spunk
Posted by: Dick at October 9, 2005 09:47 AMum, read the disclaimer. i dont proof anything.
good luck being a little TV salesman cock sucker...take that anyway you wish...
...though i'm sure you'll take it up the ass, as usual..
yea, you're really deep jack. your point is way beyond me... just like you.. way beyond me... it's hard to grasp your point because you're just so intelligent... ROFLMAO.
also the depression had nothing to do with you or tweeter... i got alot of money for doing nothing after being fired... almost 20 grand... now i have some nice equipment (seperate from the equipment i certainly didn't steal from tweeter when i knew i was getting fired.. that totalled to quite a bit) and i'm involved in some great musical projects...
but hey.. how about that DLP technology?
fucking faggot.
tootles.
::smiles:: Yeah, your definately better off then I am. You are tragically predictable. You recycle the same bullshit tactics constantly for entertainment value, and it is entertaining to a point. I hope it works for you, if it werent for your constant contridictions and hysterically driven by your obvious esteem issues, it might even be validated. You get by on presentation, not content... your a useless, self-centered peice of shit that probably has never really been truely close to anyone and more probably never will.
Thats ok, your quick wit; your constantly repeating to yourself and anyone who will listen how great you are, were, and always will be; your obviously prosperous future as a geek squad engineer; your strictly healthy relationships with your family; your chilverous relationship with your obviously self-esteem-lacking girlfriends; and your opiate corrected view of reality, I am sure, will make up nicely for whatever short comings your being a completely dysfuntional asshole presents.
ta ta
Posted by: Dick at October 10, 2005 12:09 AMLOL!
you can have that as the last word... it speaks for itself.
though i will say, you're so right.. wow... LOLALOALOFLFO!LAO!11! you know that laugh you get deep in your belly when you see a rabbit get run over by a pickup truck?? thats the kinda laugh i got reading your blind stabs at credibility... you aren't a) a writing critic b) a doctor c) a person who knows anything about me or my family or d) anything more than a glorified fucking best buy worker yourself, idiot.
but hey, thanks for the smiles.
...the one you put on my face AND the faggy ::action:: one you wrote there.
this is boring the shit out of me. i've said i need to say, i could pick the several flaws out of your inaccurate and contradictory bloviations forever... and although all my readers find it hilarious, i barely have time or sit and write my own much more entertaining shit... because i'm great. so its this or that, i'm going to go that.
thus i have nothing more to say to you.
except click on my ads and i'm the greatest.
Posted by: dirt at October 11, 2005 02:50 AMAll that and I am still in love with you.
Posted by: DICK at October 11, 2005 06:46 PM<3
Posted by: dirt. at October 13, 2005 01:08 PM