[D1RT]

THE LAUHAUS ATTACKED BY GHETTO MOUSE

(composite sketch)

so i see this fucking dark streak run through the kitchen.

not sure that it was definitly a mouse and not an acid flashback, i stuck around the kitchen in silence awaiting to get visual confirmation.

i sat there for about 8 minutes and the phone rings.

i go get the phone and glance back toward the kitchen and i see the little mouse run back the other way with what appeared to be a "ghetto limp"

so i immediately flip out (i had a bad mouse experience once when i was younger and it has scarred me for life) and start throwing random objects, not even at the mouse so much as at the kitchen area.

after a little while i get off the phone and head out of my room (where i fled) and that little cocksucker tried to broadside me and force his way into my room

as i remember, the mouse was black/black-grey (possibly a mulatto), had some bangin' tiny gold fronts, and told me to "run my pockets" and that he was "out for dolo" whatever that means. then he flashed what looked like a tiny gun and grabbed his tiny mouse crotch. he then said something about his "ryde or die miggas" (i checked wikipedia and apparently a "migga" is a "mouse nigga") and told me "not to front on him" right before disappearing under the stove.

after consulting some of my black friends, i learned that the people i previously considered my black friends were in fact white and offered no help.

but here's what i know from my vast experience in stereotyping- black people that act like that usually are in some kind of gang or latch-key program and thus leads me to believe there is in fact, more than one of these beasts "holding down" my "crib"

if anyone knows any aryan mice (or even KKK mice, despite their total redneckery) please send them my way and help me ethnically cleanse my house.

ps - i already tried burning a tiny toothpick cross in the living room.

Posted by dirt at February 21, 2007 07:15 PM