[D1RT]

pumpin 4 the man

it's a nine mile walk from the office to the pumps
sometimes you think you're gonna drop
in the end you're filthy dirty, horny, and pissed off
and before you can leave you gotta sweep the fuckin' shop

it's a real real bitch to be workin' for the man
but shit, I do it well, so what the fuck
i could probably wash dishes at some other fuckin' dump
but it's all the same to me, bustin' ass to make a buck

so read 'em up and stick 'em
pump that fucker good
some woman down on Main Street needs a jump
get your fingers outta your ass
and pump some faggot's gas
and think about how bad New Hope sucks

and it's a piss poor life when the ladies fire you up
and then you check their oil and know you're fucked
cause no one wants a loser who works for 5 an hour
smells like gas, looks like shit, works in the rain and is rude as hell

now I can fix a tire like Hurricane Melinda
i know that I'm the best for what it's worth
so if I choose to help you don't look like you expect it
cause it's a gift that God gave me at birth

so read 'em up and stick 'em
pump that fucker good
some woman down on Main Street needs a jump
get your fingers outta your ass
and pump some faggot's gas
and think about how bad New Hope sucks

anybody??

my interview with possibly the biggest tool of all time

thanks to the power of myspace, i was able to track down Sean Allen..

Sean Allen is the little homo that selectively recorded part of his teachers lecture, in which he referred to some things that George Bush had said in his state of the union address that sounded eerily like statements made by Hitler.

it was not one sided, and it was factual. some of the things the teacher pointed out WERE eerily similar to things said by Hitler. he did not make his opinion known, he simply said fact to his class room.

is that wrong? maybe... to me, polotics is bullshit. i follow it.. i probably know more about it than you, but i find it to be a giant conglomerate of retards babbling back and forth.

i needed answers... who is the man behind the tattle-tale? what makes him tick? he considers himself a standup comic, yet the writing on his myspace is full of bad grammar and a font size of about 6... generally that makes me think whoever owns that myspace is an idiot... is it true? i needed to find out.

so here is my lengthy, on topic, mature discussion with Mr. Sean Allen.

DIRT (via myspace message)

youre a punk ass little pussy and if you lived in jersey i would kick your face in.

wah i recorded my teacher because he has far left opinions.

wah im gonna tell my daddy and hes gonna send it to fox news so we can try to make some money off it.

let me guess... youre gonna write a book documenting your struggle getting through high school with such a dominant democratic opinion being thrown your way.

the world is full of retard liberals, dipshit... the world is also full of retard republicans (ie you; your father) if you have to drop out of a school because of a liberal point of view being pushed, youre going to have a wonderful career, begining in colorados finest technical school, learning how to fix VCR's.

if i have to look at your fucking face on fox news again im going to drive to colorado, find you, and gag you with my penis.

homo.

SEAN ALLEN

i'm reporting you to myspace.

DIRT

really? how totally out of character. i wouldnt expect a rat fink little pussy faggot from Colorado to do something like that. wah. pussy.

SEAN ALLEN

youre an asshole.

best. interview. ever.

coming up in the following days will be my interview with Sean Allen.

if you don't know who sean allen is, he is the kid that secretly recorded his teacher spouting liberal opinions to his class, comparing things that George Bush said to Hitler.

here's the story.
http://www.denverpost.com/news/ci_3560566

definitly the best interview ever.

THE DIRT COLLECTION: ART IS DUMB (PREVIEW)

a preview of a modern art gallery that would make even Andy Warhol drop the cock from his face.

The long awaited gallery of modern art inspired by our own disdain for art is currently being compiled, and let me say, its awe-inspiring.

Current Artists (pronounced "arteests") include myself and Jeffrey Payne, and we are glad to give you a sample of what you can expect from our gallery.

After the collective works have been.... uh collected, you will be able to bid on these masterpieces which are taking the modern gay-art world by gay-storm.

Without further ado, a preview of THE DIRT COLLECTION: ART IS DUMB

JEFFREY PAYNE
"unzipped blob on stick"

NICHOLAS DIRT ALBRECHT
"green cool-guy sun over beer and sullen used tampon"

:::snap snap snap snap snap::