To Whom It May Concern:
I may be many things, A shit talking little prick.. A talentless sap.. A powerpop superstar... But one thing I am not sir, is gay. While perusing the gay personal ads, I came across a link to your site, http://mrski.com/gay/gay_guy_blow_job.php... I thought to myself, hey, gay guy blow jobs... awesome. So I clicked. Imagine my surprise when I saw my shit-eating grin glaring back at me.
I never gave you permission to use my picture on your website and I respectfully ask that you take it down... Or, at least use a picture highlighting my striking features, perhaps one that is less flagrantly gay. I mean, I'm flattered that you would choose little old me for your gay blow jobs website, but I am really not gay... Sure, I've felt squirrelly at times and thrown a finger or two up my asshole.. But that hardly makes me gay.
In closing, I'll be pressing charges against your violation of my rights as a heterosexual man with glasses. You have two choices, 1) take it down immediately or B) give me free access to your gay blowjobs.
Sincerely Interested In Man on Man Fisting,
David Miller
(Rivers Huomo)