I would like to get subscription info please.
Posted by Brahmus at October 22, 2003 02:17 AMclearly, i drank dayquil and Im wide the fuck awake.
So i went to 7-eleven with shorts on and a tshirt. And there was this cute white trash girl there totally checking me out. Like she's white trash. Congratulations.
It's a shame that longstanding coverboy for Gaytard is in jeopardy of losing his position. I hope he doesn't, I look forward to the stability that Gaytard Mag brings me from knowing that mincus is and always will be Gaytard's poster child. No matter how this ends up, mincus. I will forever cherish the moments that Gaytard Mag has provided me when I felt like I couldn't sink any lower. Like when I went out with the rat girl. You were there to tell me that you were more Gaytarded, just by being on the cover.
Thank you.
Posted by sagien at October 22, 2003 02:21 AMDude, I dunno. Given his new found relationship status, it may be time to seek out a new coverboy, the new face of gaytardedness if you will. The times they are a'changin', & Gaytard Magazine (Quarterly) simply has to stay ahead of the curve. I mean, I love Al & everything, but... he's a changed man. There are those who would even go as far as to say he's sold out, gone respectable. I'm not one of them, but naturally his may no longer be the best face to represent the gaytarded population.
...Maybe Rob?
Posted by ninjamonkeygeek at October 22, 2003 10:28 AMhahahah...are you made of peanuts? hahahaha... that made my day.
Posted by Kudra44 at October 22, 2003 02:47 PMThis whole post just made my day better... and I have ppl looking at me like I'm a retard for laughing out loud in the middle of the computer lab. Ooops. :) Jeff, you're a fucking genius.
Posted by April at October 22, 2003 03:49 PMI'm sorry, but my roommate Mary totally steals Gaytard of the Year from all these lightweights. If you want, I shall supply some excerpts from this year's gaytardness memory archive.
P.S. I do not like her.
Posted by Leah at October 23, 2003 08:00 PMOh GEEZ now I have to do it.
Gaytarded Memory Archive 2003
1. She is a music major in OPERA. Therefore, everyday she wakes me up singing opera in the kitchen at the top of her lungs. Sometimes, this is not for practice, but so she can make her friends laugh that she is annoying everyone in THE ENTIRE WORLD.
2. She verbally attacked my friend, John, asking him when the last time he had sex. When he said "August" (2 months ago), she laughed and said "That figures." Has she had sex, like, ever? NO!
3. She called me rude because I wanted to watch MY OWN TV one Thursday night which happened to coincide with nightly GAYTARD FRIENDFEST. So as to hear my TV shows, I turned the TV up loud. Not gaytardedly loud, but enough to where I could hear it over the opera and the heehaw. She did not call me rude until 3 weeks later when I asked her politely if I could watch TV (tonight). When I said I thought it would be more rude to remove the TV from the living room, she looked at me like that was ridiculous. However, as we speak, GAYTARD FRIENDFEST 2K3 is in the living room watching my TV. If I went and removed it, would I not be more rude? YES YOU STUPID F-ING OPERA HOOCHIE.
4. Every single time she does the dishes, which is once a month at most, she tells everyone in the free world that she did the dishes. WHAT, HOOCHIE, DO YOU WANT A TROPHY?
5. She continues to put my pots and pans in the dishwasher even though I told her they will be ruined.
6. Did I mention she sings opera? I CAN HEAR HER NOW, polluting the earth to its core with her soprano offkey barking!
Shup up Mary! SHUT UP!
Posted by Leah at October 23, 2003 08:07 PMI really wish I had a picture of her. Sorry, I forgot some stuff I just remembered, even though its only 3 seconds later.
Gaytard Memory Archive 2003
7. She claims to be a Christian, yet cusses people out everyday, yells at people, is in general the worst person alive. But she makes sure to tell everyone at least fifty times a week that she is going to "Crosswalk," our campus Christian ministry thingie-majig. SHUT UP MARY!
8. On her birthday, she threw herself a party, bought lemon-flavored beer (Tequiza), and then played Truth or Dare with her gaytarded friends. She was dared to fake an orgasm off our balcony. She moaned once, like the bark of a seal, and then came in. I don't think she knows what "orgasm" means. Or that you don't play Truth or Dare after 7th grade.
Let the evidence speak for itself.
w t f
Posted by sagien at October 23, 2003 08:46 PMI see that you are in awe of my candidate, Sagien. Or was it Saigen?
Yes, she is a worthy contender.
Posted by Leah at October 23, 2003 09:36 PMWOW! it's abundantly clear what you've got to do, Leah. You must murder your roomate in her sleep. Or, at the very least, shave off her eyebrows.
&, it is sagIEn, not saigen... a common question.
So, welcome to our circle of friends. But, unfortunately, it's too late for any new entries regarding GOY. However, wombat could be easily swayed if you sent him a picture of your boobs and/or butt. But, you didn't hear that from me.
Have you considered moving?
Posted by ninjamonkeygeek at October 23, 2003 10:07 PMninjamonkeygeek is right -- its too late for new contenders. also, girls cannot be GOY. However, she could easily be the covergirl for our alternate female-slanted magazines: Bitchtard, or Lesberific (Bi-Monthly). But, such press has yet to be yielded as we have been busy getting Gaytard Magazine (Quarterly) up to standards.
Thank you for your interest in GOY.
~Wombat
Oooh sexist GOY contest. I see. Next year I'll do a rally to get my female contender in. This year I don't care enough or have enough energy. I am using too much of it plotting her death. Good luck to the contenders, though. :)
I don't have many pics of my butt or boobs. Although once a gay guy took one of my butt and then drew several circles around it, and thenwrote "Target Practice" on the bottom. I consider it greatly ironic that my *female* butt was considered "practice."
P.S. This is a true story.
Posted by Leah at October 24, 2003 12:22 AMOh, the proof. Well, you just have to take my word that I didn't draw this stuff on this pic, but seriously, he did this.
Target Practice
Dangit, Sagien.
Here's Target Practice without the broken link. Copy/paste and all that. Barf.
http://users.ritternet.com/godslily/leahbootie2.jpg
Posted by Leah at October 24, 2003 12:36 AMHello Leah, my name is Brahmus!
You "don't have many pics of my butt or boobs" This implies that you do have SOME pics of these! Please read my schoolwork entry on www.brahmus.com and if you are a kind soul, help me pass my college course!
My dearest Brahmas,
I came, I saw, I left laughing.
However, I vote no.
Yours,
Leah
Oh, but I can help you. Go look at some porn.
Not really yours, but someone else's instead D:
Leah
Posted by Leah at October 24, 2003 12:51 AM=(
Posted by Brahmus at October 24, 2003 01:03 AMOuch! Brahmus got shot down- hardcore. sorry, man.
Posted by ninjamonkeygeek at October 24, 2003 10:24 AMToo bad your ass got zaaaaaaaaaaaaped...
Posted by sagien at October 24, 2003 10:28 AMI know :( I am crying in real life :( I think I will kill myself, or become an anarchist and write poetry.
Posted by Brahmus at October 24, 2003 01:44 PMzaaaaaaaaaaaaped?
I thought it was too bad your ass got saaaaaaaaaaaacked. - http://www.lumpen.com/video/nosebleed.mov
Posted by mincus at October 24, 2003 03:11 PMmincus is right. but, i didnt wanna say anything. well, actually, I did wanna say something. but, lazyness is overwhelming.
Posted by wombat at October 24, 2003 04:06 PMI am apologetic. I didn't mean to mess up. I am sorry.
Posted by sagien at October 24, 2003 04:29 PMI've seen Leah's ass. It's not very existant. EX-ROOMMATE TELLS ALL! I think I even have some pics!! Hah! Brah, I'll trade for naked pics of YOUR ass... Oh shit.. I already got those. More, please?
Can I see wombat naked?
Posted by April at October 24, 2003 04:56 PMDude, my butt totally exists. And it's cute. April, quit talking about my butt. Jerkhole.
Posted by Leah at October 24, 2003 05:38 PM