October 10, 2003
Oh its friday..
Well then. To start things off...
That's there due to popular demand. I did not have sexual relations with that duck.
There are several things I'd like to go over... so read on, yes?
Spot the flaws!
mincus: hey you
psyner: i feel like ass
mincus: :/
mincus: how come?
psyner: i got my period and im so miserable
psyner: bring me tampons and pamprin :-(
mincus: :-(
mincus: awww... i figured you would ask for chocolate :-)
psyner: chocolate would be good too
mincus: do you really need me to get you some?
mincus: of those things
Hmm.. mincus may never trust me ever again.
Oh whats this?
I have formulated a contest in my brain over the last few days. It involves some work on your part, but it may end up mildly amusing.
Basically, I want to collect recordings of You(my readers) having sex. Audio is fine, but video would work rather well as far as deciding authenticity goes. No mother, you may not take part in this game.
As far as authenticity goes, uhm I'm sure you guys can be ingenius enough to insert something that will let me know that they're geniune.
Email me these uhm things at sagien@max-data.com and I will decide if it is the best sex I've ever heard(seen?).. and if it is, I will get you a tshirt. I haven't decided on the designs yet, but hopefully you will deem them worthy of this effort. I'll post designs at a later entry.
This contest will run its course over the next 2 weeks. I was thinking one week, but some of you might need time to setup. Since *I* do not get laid, I will not be participating in this endeavour, plus it might be a bit biased and whatnot.
So, two weeks to gather entries. Comment if you think you'll need more time.
Oh yes, can someone ask shftleft about azn drivers, please?
Oh! One more thing. Theres a new blog under the iseeseveralflaws banner.
Everyone welcome our comment MvP Nilez into the fold
Questions, comments, viewpoints... ?
Posted by at October 10, 2003 12:00 AMOH MY GOD
I am in utter AWE of you right now. I cannot think of a suitable post.
Posted by: Brahmus at October 9, 2003 11:52 PMNow that the shock has cleared and I have reevaluated the contest, I have a few questions.
1) Does sex with yourself count?
If the answer to this question is no:
A) Does your partner have to be a human?
B) Alive?
C) A willing participant?
Don't want to risk going to jail and/or hell and be disqualified and not get my fucking t-shirt. Thank you for your help.
Posted by: Brahmus at October 10, 2003 01:00 AMhmmm.. i see how it is then. I guess the Friend write-off game picture looks more like this now then? ex-friends and the original for those of you who missed it.
/me no gloves
Posted by: mincus at October 10, 2003 09:52 AMWTF ... How the hell did I get dragged into this crap. :P
Posted by: shftleft at October 10, 2003 10:35 AMHmm.
Sex with yourself can count ONLY if you are a girl.
If you want to have sex with your dog, thats fine by me, but I don't want to hear fuckin dogsex.
Dead people wouldnt make much noise fucking. So no.
And please don't rape anyone. What kind of fucked up repugnant shit is that.
Oh mincus, surely you can do better than photoshopping an asian in for an asian. Clearly, that asian is driving the cart real well.
Posted by: sagien at October 10, 2003 12:42 PMOk, now i cannot send this file via email for fear of prosecution for necrophelia and beastiality, but does sex with a dead rabbit count?
I win!
Hi, i am rhitty! i am gay!
Posted by: Rhitty at October 10, 2003 01:12 PMAs I sit here in front of my beautiful flat panel monitor listining to Dave Matthews Band and reading this, this... well words cannot describe. I begin to wonder, do spiders count? If yes then the guy with the, um... problem, with spiders, might want to take NilZ suggestion and fall asleep with a video camera.
Just a thought
Posted by: VirticalDrop at October 10, 2003 02:09 PMReffering to my last comment. I don't think I'm some kind of special for having a flat panel monitor. I was just trying to recreate the moment, and I just happened to be admiring its spectacular resoulton.
Posted by: VerticalDrop at October 10, 2003 02:19 PMYou're a jackass.
Posted by: sagien at October 10, 2003 05:01 PMSagien is -master- of the understatment.
Posted by: Brahmus at October 10, 2003 05:08 PMhomosexuals are by default communists and should be destroyed, except tindajii, he's not really a homo, he's just confused
Posted by: Romale at October 10, 2003 05:51 PMhttp://fuckcommunism.blogs.com/
Posted by: Romale at October 10, 2003 08:24 PMHey VerticalDrop...how good can your resolution be when all you do is blow loads on it every night???
Posted by: WhyisAprilsoFAT at October 11, 2003 12:40 AMand oh yeah...Dave Matthews band sucks more dick than you do
Posted by: WhyisAprilsoFAT at October 11, 2003 12:43 AMWe need tindajii posting. I am making it Romale's mission to find tindajii. And make him comment.
Posted by: sagien at October 11, 2003 01:25 AMclealry i accept
http://www.iamlost.com/features/ducklove/
clearly this is a site for sagien
>>Basically, I want to collect recordings of You
>>(my readers) having sex. Audio is fine, but
>>video would work rather well as far as
>>deciding authenticity goes. No mother, you may
>>not take part in this game.
Oh so the other day when I went to use your computer and there was a porn movie open? It must have been research for this project?
Posted by: Heather at October 11, 2003 07:21 PMClearly, there is alot of work involved in the making of this site. Was it the one where the girl deepthroated the guy? That's a good one.
Posted by: sagien at October 11, 2003 08:42 PMhello is this microphone on
Posted by: velan at October 12, 2003 03:05 AMI like Dave Matthews Band.
Posted by: shftleft at October 12, 2003 07:03 PMI prefer the screams of dying children to Dave Matthew's. And as much as I hate children I hate even more to hear them. In fact when I have kids I think I will get their vocal cords cut... like they do to dogs. Fuck ya I will debark my kids at like 6 months so they cant talk back to me during the terrible 2s. Little fucking monsters.
Posted by: Brahmus at October 13, 2003 01:49 AMWhat if I paint a face on my hand and make noises for my hand, and then just make noises for my self and run them together does that count?
Posted by: Sciron Sciron at October 13, 2003 07:38 PMOnly if your hand is a seriel rapist-murderer and it strangles you afterward, saving us from more posts like that one.
Posted by: Brahmus at October 16, 2003 11:00 AMCan anyone remember where I put my dictaphone?
Posted by: Cyno at October 17, 2003 11:20 AM