October 27, 2003
Eat it John Walley
Good day, ladies and gentlemen. It was one slow ass boring weekend for me, filled with mind erasers and Brahmus whining about not getting laid. Join the club, fuckhead.
Hmm.. the kids you run into these days...
A few notable performances
I'd like to take this opportunity to applaud animplodingvoice. The full account of his prowess can be found here.
This is the mega-mastermind: Dr. AnImplodingVoice, PHd
Also, this came across my desk one day...
Umbra Fir: and I think mike had every right. I would have gladly let him beat the shit out of me. I live my guilt. If I could take it back, I would in a heart beat. but I can not.
Fuckin' A, bro. Tell me when and where, I'll bring my asian gang along.
I'm an asshole and a half
The saga of middlefingersalute continues. This bastard keeps deleting my comments on his site. I mean quality comments like:
Your son looks like a tool.
Posted 10/24/2003 at 4:31 PM by sagien
and...
You sure he's[the son] yours?
Posted 10/25/2003 at 10:52 AM by sagien
So I decided to confront him with an email. It started off friendly enough..
Subject: Recommendation from sagien@max-data.com View Full Header
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From: sagien@max-data.com
Date: Fri, October 24, 2003 7:57 pm
To: slipxaway@yahoo.com
Priority: Normal
Hello. How are you today. It seems that you have chosen the wong patty to
cwaaaaasshhhh... Did you recognize a fight you couldn't win? Why so silent all of a sudden? It seems rather unlike your original outburst at a post I made that was not in any way, shape or form directed at you?
What's the matter? clux-clux?
To which he responded:
Subject: Re: Recommendation from sagien@max-data.com View Full Header
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From: slipxaway@yahoo.com
Date: Fri, October 24, 2003 9:26 pm
To: sagien@max-data.com
Priority: Normal
To be honest, I just don't like you, you annoy me, but then again, so does most of the world's population. I have too much shit going on right now, shit that far
overshadows any petty Internet bullshit. So, yes, if you want to say I recognized a fight I couldn't win, so be it.. Have a fun life.
jarod
Sensing that I was in the wrong, and felt that I have hurt a truly unique individual, I decided to become his friend, with some sagely advice(whoops did I just post his yahoo account? I don't know how these things work):
Subject: Re: Recommendation from sagien@max-data.com View Full Header
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From: sagien@max-data.com
Date: Fri, October 24, 2003 9:52 pm
To: slipxaway@yahoo.com
Priority: Normal
You know suicide could be helpful. Cuz like if you hate the world, you
should just end your life. I mean your kid can grow up without a Dad, but
he's probably better off anyway because your genepool didn't seem to have
the "I'm too fuckin stupid to have kids" strain. Think about it. I'll be
here for support.
Perhaps he took my advice. He stopped emailing me back. Good for him.
Thats all I have for today. I hope it was as enlightening to you as it was for me.
--Sagien
When you do asshole, you do it perfectly and thoroughly. I am in awe.
Posted by: April at October 26, 2003 11:53 PMI see you have given the troubled lad some truly magnificent advice. It would surely solve all of his problems, we can only hope he acted on it.
Posted by: Brahmus at October 27, 2003 12:09 AMwow.
mega-mastermind... I RULE
Sagien is awesome.
Posted by: animplodingvoice at October 27, 2003 12:17 AManimplodingvoice is correct on both counts.
Posted by: Brahmus at October 27, 2003 12:26 AMThere are so many questions that need answering regarding Jarod.
The first is what does this kid do? You know, to contribute to society... If most of the general population annoys him, there'd better be a good f#cking reason for him to have such a superiority complex. Does he have an abnormally high IQ? I could undestand if his brain was able to comprehend things beyond everyone else's understanding, and he were stuck living amongst people he just couldn't relate to- never satisifying his thirst intellectual equality. But, based on his poetry, he's pretty dumb. For one to have a sureriority complex, one should be able to validate their superiority. Like, if he'd won the nobel prize for medecine at the age of 17... hell, I'd give the guy a break even if was just studying pre-med at his local community college.
The second question I need to ask is, why is his name spelled like a retard? What ever happend to names like "Jared". Are his parents stupid? Maybe they're just terrible spellers. Is it the foreign spelling? JA-ROD. Or maybe his parents felt he was to special, and deserved to have a totally different name than other Jareds. This would explain his superiority complex. If his parents implied that he's a cut above throughout his childhood, then it's no wonder he finds living amongst the general population so unbearable. If he had grown up as a Jared, perhaps he'd be a more well-adjusted individual... that doesn't write crappy peotry.
Never-the-less, there's only one way to find out. I'll just have to e-mail him & ask him myself.
Posted by: ninjamonkeygeek at October 27, 2003 09:34 AMClearly it was a mistake that I posted his email address. But seeing those are valid questions to ask the man, and assuming he hasn't killed himself due to my sagely advice, you should definately email him and ask.
Here at issf, we perform a public service to help those who are depressed or just need to talk. I am happy that my readers can handle such an important responsibility in an adult fashion. Kudos!
Posted by: sagien at October 27, 2003 12:04 PMOn the subject of "Eat it John Wally"...
www.cafeshops.com/eatitjohnwally
I'm going to start copyrighting my stuff soon...
Posted by: sagien at October 27, 2003 05:15 PMbizarro -- i love you -- bizarro --
anybody catch adult swim last night? wow. i'm still laughing.
and to the mega-mastermind, you have such pretty eyes (and i never said they were weird-o).
mmm...i think i had something else to say, but i forget. oh yeah, right - i hate how when i read the comments on this page, the words all overlap. can't you do something about that? wombat's comment section is pretty and non-overlapping. seriously, it bugs the crap out of me.
uhm. ok, nothing else important. oh wait - i got to shoot guns for the first time and it was great! i shot down a soda can on my first try! woo!
now i'm really done.
Posted by: Kudra44 at October 27, 2003 10:52 PMWere you dark and brooding while shooting cans? Cuz that's the only way to fly...
Posted by: sagien at October 27, 2003 11:08 PMThey are pretty weird-o though
Posted by: mincus at October 28, 2003 07:53 AMDon't you mean... BIZARRO!!!
Kudra44- that's gotta be the eight millionth time they've shown that episode- & it's still rediculously funny. It's too bad they're not producing any new episodes. Harry Goz (the voice of Captain Murphy) died about a month ago.
But, at least the Aqua Teen Hunger Force DVD comes out next month!!!
...& i like to think of animplodingvoice's eyes as hypnotic.
if they are so hypnotic, why cant i get any chicks? hm... i must be a GAYTARD or something.
Posted by: animplodingvoice at October 28, 2003 12:42 PMNO- DON'T LOOK INTO HIS EYES!!! Next thing you know, he snaps his fingers and you're ass is sore as hell.
... you must only use your powers for good, animplodingvoice.
Posted by: ninjamonkeygeek at October 28, 2003 04:35 PMI'm feeling disturbed... not hypnotized.
Posted by: April at October 28, 2003 05:33 PManimplodingvoice is totally hizot. he blows my ass out with his incesant dokken listening.
Posted by: wombat at October 28, 2003 08:30 PMhow's getting owned over at brahmus.com feel wombat?
Posted by: sagien at October 28, 2003 09:17 PMno...i wasn't dark and brooding. i think i screamed and jumped up and down each time i hit something.
no matter how many times they show that episode, it'll still be funny/scary as hell to me.
is it odd to anybody else that we call each other by our little online code names? probably not.
Posted by: Kudra44 at October 28, 2003 11:00 PMwhat is with this crazy world.
does anyone want to give me 1 million $?