November 19, 2003
Nothing funny here.
People are probably going to not be amused with this part of the post, but I wanted to see howreceptive my audience is to something other than humor.
However, I do understand that some of you come here for a laugh so today's post will actually come in two parts.
There are a couple of reasons for this:
1) If you just wanted a laugh and look at pictures, you can check out what I had regularly planned for today and not have to go through the torture of reading words.
2) I want to segregate the comments for each part of the post. I want to know how much intelligent replies as far as discussing the "not meant to be funny" post goes. At the same time, you guys can do your regular commenting thing on the "funny" post.
Ok now that that is out of the way...
The normal thought process of any given day.
So you wake up, you look around. In my case I probably hit the snooze button about 10 times, so I set my alarm about an hour and a half early before the time I actually would need to be up. I live in complete darkness, so its extra hard for me to get up. Couple that with a really comfortable bed, and its damn near impossible.
When the alarm goes off, I usually just lay here for long periods of time and mull over things about my life. The mulling goes for extended periods of time because, well, theres alot.
First off, I consider the fact that there's nobody else on my bed but myself. In the morning, after forgetting whatever dreams I've had, this can get to be a very depressing half hour. But, I get over it and move on.
I open my laptop several times before I even roll out of bed, checking IM's and email and a few websites that I can manage to type in while trying to keep the contact lenses that have been in my eyes for a long period of time.
It is a good thing that I can get ready for work in an extremely short period of time, because I am usually running late by the time I get out of bed. Anything after rolling out of bed is part of a pre-programmed routine that usually gets me to work about two minutes late.
Once I arrive at work, my day usually consists of checking sales figures, targets and what have you. I'd refresh this site for comments if my boss isn't looking. Between the hours of 10am til noon, I practically do nothing but consume copious amounts of caffienne and planning out what I want for lunch. Around 11am the txt messages start rolling in.
I know I said this is the normal thought process of any given day. Usually I think about whether I should really go pursuing finding someone to be with or not. There are pros and cons. Having someone means you have somebody you can share alot of information with without fear of being judged. I don't know if it's just me or if other people experience it, but there are quite a few things I worry about in a day. Most of this thought processes gets bottled in. Having someone means that I don't have to compartmentalize things with the everyday people I converse with. There isn't one single being that knows everything that is happening with my brain other than myself.
So, after a few minutes of debating what lunch is and taking a few pictures here and there with my phone, I'd usually start pretending like I'm working. By pretending, I mean this:
I really don't mean for that to be funny, but that is honestly what I do. I stare at a piece of paper, pretending to study it while all I'm thinking about is what I'm going to post on my next entry to make people laugh. My boss thinks its very cool of me to study numbers or "check inventory to make sure everything is there." I don't do any of that.
After lunchtime is when I do most of the selling. I blow sunshine out of my ass to the most awful people on earth. It is totally fake and can get quite frustrating. However, its what I have to do to make money.
My day isn't really depressing at all either. I get mad and frustrated at stupid coworkers, but I get over it. Text messages make me smile, and affords me a minor break in the mind numbing environment of retail.
My work day ends at around 5pm, usually. The drive home is usually filled with thoughts about what to do for the evening. The earlier part of the evening is usually filled up with plans for class. After that, its usually up in the air.
Class is usually boring and my phone is in silent mode taking in txt messages. At this point, it should be quite obvious that I am addicted to them.
A particular txt conversation comes to mind ...
It was basically a conversation about what a good relationship would be. It was decided that a good one would be one where priorities are understood beforehand. People have lives and having to provide attention for someone 24/7 is simply not doable. My priorities are work and school. Having a girlfriend would be cool but it would have to be understood that they weren't paramount in my life. I would expect the same to be true from them. However, it is hard to be with someone and remember that you have other things to worry about other than your relationship. For example, if you require attention from someone, and they aren't there to provide it because they are busy taking care of other aspects of their life, you shouldn't be entitled to getting upset because you would have to understand that you would act in the same way if the situation was reversed. I don't know. Just a theory.
Anyway. Class happens, I get out sometimes I go to dinner. The thoughts that I have broached are basically the normal things that run through my mind everyday. Do people think the same way? Or am I just odd?
Thanks for reading my ramblings. This has been an experiment. If you guys didn't like it, I won't do it again.
Posted by at November 19, 2003 12:00 AM"I blow sunshine out of my ass to the most awful people on earth. It is totally fake and can get quite frustrating. However, its what I have to do to make money. "
Hrm yes, the wonderful life of sales. Somehow the people I work with don't understand that this is basically all that retail is. They also don't understand why after 3 weeks I have more sales per hour than anybody else in my department by 30%, and I have more customer compliments. Or why I get job offers every week and they don't.
People are idiots.
Thank you for blogging with us Sagien, I hope you found everything ok! Have a nice day! :)
Posted by: Brahmus at November 19, 2003 12:18 AMWell, sagien, at least no one could ever accuse you offalse advertising. You're absolutely right. There was nothing funny here.
But i read the whole thing... which will prolly make wombat proud of me.
Posted by: ninjamonkeygeek at November 19, 2003 01:10 PMWombat probably will never read this.
Posted by: sagien at November 19, 2003 02:22 PMits only funny when there are pictures. didn't u get that by now?
Posted by: snickers at November 19, 2003 02:40 PMWhy do you live in complete darkness? I feel like shit without sunlight. Also, would you really not post an unfunny message again if everyone said they didnt like it? Cause I always thought you were more the type to continue posting shit that people said they didnt like, just to piss them off, and so you could say, "Ha, you keep coming back and reading the shit to see if it's funny." Anyway, I'm still not sure what the purpose of this 'unfunny' post is. If it's to stimulate a convo, well hell, that's the kind of convo all my girl friends have with me when they come over to bitch. Why don't I have a man, should I try harder to get a man, how can I get a man, where can I find a man, what do I have to do to get a man, blah blah blah. Personally, although I would love to be in a good relationship right now, I don't think of it like I used to. I used to always be on the lookout, now I don't give a shit, if it happens it happens. Course when I have to go to stupid ass dinners, weddings etc, and they say "& escort" I start obsessing a bit, then I figure hrmmmm maybe I should take that literally and hire an escort..which I never do, but I always contemplate it. I'm not exactly sure what has filled the time where I once used to think about guys, but I'd say it's more about obsessing about my latest projects. The ad campaign Im working on, the house I just bought, renovating, outfoxing my mother, figuring out who the mystery woman my brother is dating is, etc etc. And as for thinking about the guys...well whenever the urge for sex hits...the thinking starts, but that's rapidly resolved when I just uhhh take care of things myself or hit up my fuck buddy. Shit, typing that makes me think I only want a guy to sleep with....maybe that's why Im not obsessing about it anymore. Congrats, your blog has sufficiently provoked my thought patterns to make me doubt myself, in fact, it made me doubt myself twice, once a moment ago, the the other time when I first started typing and figured this was a trick blog. Paranoia now sets in, let's face it, even if I was obsessed about wanting a guy...Im too nuts for anyone with a shred of sanity. BTW Im happy this is a long post, it just means most people won't read it :) XXXOOO
Posted by: Cyno at November 19, 2003 05:10 PMWell fuck buddies are one thing. Those are fun, but it doesn't that kinda thing get old? Having people get attached and stuff like that? That can get annoying.
Anyway, you are right I probably will do it again despite what kind of feed back I got. I was just being considerate and what have you.
Posted by: sagien at November 19, 2003 05:42 PMWell I love my buddy and he loves me, and we did try dating, but we couldnt stand being with each other for extended periods of time, so this works out well for both of us. But uhh, if they are just a fuck buddy then they shouldn't be getting attached...that's the whole point of being a fuck buddy, you don't get attached, and if you do, out the door you go. And for the record, if either one of us gets into a relationship, the fuck buddy becomes just a buddy.
Posted by: Cyno at November 19, 2003 06:22 PMDid I hear someone say they're in the market for a male escort?
Posted by: Joe Camel at November 19, 2003 07:18 PMi could really use a new slampiece. a "fuckbuddy" if you will. also, i read most of what you wrote up there. it's about something, i can tell. but, you know, whatever.
Posted by: wombat at November 19, 2003 08:06 PMMy only thoughts before and after my new boyfriend were about school and graduation. Significant others, dates, and fuck buddies just happen. Thinking about them doesn't make them show up faster. It's all about the right place at the right time.. and the right person. Of course, if you're so worried about finding a new girlfriend, why don't you get a few numbers from the girls that hit on you? You're oblivious to what I see. Girls look at you all the time. What do I have to do, train you?
Posted by: April at November 19, 2003 09:16 PMGirls don't look at me. Don't be silly.
Posted by: sagien at November 19, 2003 09:20 PMI saw that Shrealla whore scoping you the other day.
Posted by: Brahmus at November 19, 2003 10:04 PMSeriously though, how can you fuck someone without emotions being present. It is a fuckin struggle for me to separate emotions and sex. I know sex is fun, and I guess a compromise would have to be reached. But how can you be so sure that the compromise will be kept, or even if you can keep it?
I guess what I am saying is that 'casual sex' is just something I am ill equipt for. Thats more than likely because I brood.
Posted by: sagien at November 19, 2003 10:08 PMI don't consider my buddy to be "casual" I really do love him, I just couldnt live with him. And I think he loves me too. It's just that we aren't each other's 'soul mates' (for lack of a better term), and I would never want to stand in his way of finding someone more compatible, so it works for us this way. In fact, if I had to term it, I would call it something like "comfort loving" as stupid as that sounds.
Posted by: Cyno at November 20, 2003 09:55 AMAlmost forgot, wondering if Joe Camel's free for the weekend of the 19th:P
Posted by: Cyno at November 20, 2003 09:58 AMI've been resisting, but now i've just gotta chime in this whole f#ck bubby issue- I'll call them FB's since i'm lazy.
Sagien, i'm not so sure it's an issue of being ill equipt or well equipt. It's more about chemistry. But it's a chemistry that exists in a gray area between friendship and romantic interest. I new very little about sex, until my current... uh... I'll use the term "partner" just to keep you guys guessing out there . SO this is all just speculation. But anyway, i think if there's a certain bond , not necessarily romantic, sex can exist in a more relaxed relationship. Mind you, this is contigent on both parties' absolute understanding.
If one person's feelings change- forget it. If the relationship lacks the necessary level of comfort to allow for intimacy, then i imagine the sex would seem steril and vapid. Like both parties are just going throught he motions, so to speak. I guess the FB situation is just difficult to achieve because it relies so heavily on so many different variables in order to be successful.
sorry that was so long, everybody.
by the way- i'm an idiot who can't spell buddy. I know.
Posted by: ninjamonkeygeek at November 20, 2003 11:43 AMI think you may have misunderstood Joe Camel's comment, Cyno. Joe Camel is not a male escort. In fact, Joe Camel, that studly pirate, has been roped by a lovely siren. Joe Camel RUNS a male escort service. He is a pimply, studly pirate.
Posted by: April at November 20, 2003 12:13 PMHehe, its hard to imagine getting into a relationship that just "goes through the motions" when it comes to sex. But I suppose there are still some people out there who do it.
Neat. Leave Joe Camel alone.
Posted by: sagien at November 20, 2003 12:23 PMI'm down to try this whole "fuck buddy" thing out. Strictly for research purposes. If you are single and in the Los Angeles area (and a femme) hit me up!
Ung Dah
Posted by: Brahmus at November 20, 2003 01:32 PMYou have tried the research angle before. All it got you was 101 comments from mincus, icelus, wombat and juelz. Try a different angle, buddy.
I dunno, nmg, I guess I just got used to not having to worry about fuck buddies. Which is probably why feel the way I do about it now.
Ack, sorry! Okay, after removing my grubby little hands from Joe's cyber butt, (that would be his smoke, since Im going through nicotine withdrawal)...Can I at least get a discount for using his service? Either that or Brahmus should finally break down, use his Christmas bonus and come be my cabana boy for the holidays. (If anyone asks why I would have a 'cabana' boy in Saskatchewan, Im gonna scream.)
Posted by: Cyno at November 20, 2003 04:32 PM