-=(Sagien)=-

What is this "social life"?

Well here we are again. It's been a rather busy week and I am quite tired. I have been living off of alot of caffienne. I'm up to about 4 coke bottles a day. (the drink, not the drug).

Talked to a million people, smiling fake smiles, telling fake stories.. all in the name of the almighty dollar.

Words...

Odd.. there are no pictures here.. NMG probably won't read it now...

Mmm..

VD has been sending me tons of pics again... alot of them seem to be of me.

Oh fuck it I don't feel like writing or posting pics or anything. I don't feel like making you people laugh, but in the end that's probably what I'll end up doing anyway. Here goes...

Let's indulge ourselves on the subject of me for a little while. VD snapped that pic on Black Friday. No, its not when blackies come in my store to buy things. You biggoted bastards.

First of all, I would like to apologize to each and everyone about me just talking about [place of employment who might sue me] and about the multitude of wonderful specimens that walk through its doors and converse with me everyday. I truly have nothing else to talk about because I do not do anything else but work. Which is cool, cuz if they find this site, they'll prolly fire me on the spot. Neat, huh?

Since I have no sense of humor tonight, let's switch gears and allow me to tell you folks a story.

Florida, Summer 2000.. i think..

I got me some vacation time, and I realized that I have not seen any of my friends that I have made in Florida while I lived there with insane-o goth chick. (She was the spike on the gaytard graph whosenameshallneverbespokenofeveragaincuzhehasbeenwrittenoffthefriendslist made of me).

I decided to take a vacation to Florida to visit this girl who my ex was best friends with, but she's hot and I thought I could score.

Oh, I'd post pics of this said exgirlfriend and her best friend, but I burned them all years ago.

Anyway, I fly out to Florida for the visit. Lo and behold, she was pregnant. Gee, I never remembered the words pregnant, baby, another kid coming, or BOYFRIEND ever spoken. I do, however, remember her saying 'I love getting my pussy eaten' and 'Asians are so good in bed.'

So I'm there. Her grandmother looks at me and tells me I wasn't welcome in her house. Woo. And here I thought she said 'you can stay at my place, its okay.' So off to the roach motel with me. Literally.

So I'm at the motel. With the roaches, and whatever bedbugs resided there without paying the motel's nightly fee. Where I stayed for two days without hearing anything from her. So I sat in the motel watching television for two days, drinking beer and protecting my pizza from bugs.

BANG BANG BANG

Someone's knockin on my motel room door at 2am.

"This is the POLICE! Open up!"

Motherfucker. I put on my pants, cuz I've been uhm.. sleeping. I open the door and its them. By them I meant my friend and her boyfriend. I looked at them like I wanted to kill them and she was like 'Get dressed,we're going out."

By going out, they meant lets go to the ass backroads of Florida, ya know.. where there are swamps. With alligators. Don't get too close to the water, mike. Joy.

Came back to motel, where we sat and talked, and then they left and I don't hear from them again til the day before I leave.

Now, all this time I have been feeding myself withmy slowly dwindling vacation funds. No Disneyworld, no SeaWorld, and nothing but Burger King and beers from the gas station down the street.

So when they call to ask me when I have to be at the airport, I had about $10 left. I told them I needed a ride there. She said her boyfriend had to work that day, but they can help me out.

So the big day came of me leaving and never returning to that shithole ever fuckin again. Her boyfriend was supposed to give me a lift to the airport. Instead, he drops me off at a bus stop where he informed me that the bus that runs through here goes right to the airport.

'Ok, cool,' I thought.

Bus comes. I get on.

"Do you go to the airport?"

"No its saturday, we don't go there on saturdays."

MOTHERFUCKER

"There's a greyhound station, they'll take you there."

So he takes me to greyhound station, I walk in. Keep in mind my flight leaves at 5pm. This happens about noon.

"When is the next bus to the airport?"

"5:!5pm"

MOTHERFUCKER

I go outside, and walked up to one of the cabs parked in the parking lot. I asked him how much it would cost to get to the airport.

"$35"

SON OF A BITCH

So i fish some change out of my pocket, and call up my 'friend'. Her grandmother answers and informs me she hasnt heard from her for the last 3 days, sorry can't help. GREAT.

Pardon me, telling this story is making me sweat and wanna have a cigarette.

SO! I have $10 dollars, airport is too far to walk, I'm considering sticking my thumb out and hitching a ride there.. I mean, my luck can't get any worse, right?

Then this guy walks out of the station and says..

"Fuck, how am I gonna get to the airport."

I looked up and asked him how much cash he had. He said he had four dollars. Cool. No help there. I told him I was in the same predicament and I needed to get home very badly.

He tried calling about 15 people until he found one willing to give us a ride.

This gigantic minivan shows up, with some cripple in it. The van was modified so it can be driven without legs. Cool.

So I'm on my way to the airport, with 3 hours to spare. Hungry as hell and no cigarettes. You can imagine what I purchased with my $10 when i got there.

So I made a new friend who now seems to be running around the airport looking for a flight to whereever he said he was needing to go. After suggesting a few airlines and wondering how he was gonna pay for it, I told him I was going to nap on a chair for 20 minutes and to let me know when he finds a flight and he's leaving. I think the next one he was going to get on was going to leave in an hour.

Half and hour later, I wake up. I walked around looking for my new friend and he was gone. Nowhere to be found. I went to the gate of the flight that he was catching and he wasnt there. Vanished into thin air. I never even thanked him.

Oh well... at least it was a paid vacation, right?

The end. (see how that only took one post?)

Posted by at December 3, 2003 01:09 AM