September 29, 2004
You can see up my nose
See?
It has come to my attention that people have been getting upset about me posting pictures/false imagery about them. Although this isn't an aspect of life that I'm unacustomed to, I still feel that I should address the issue. So, my sincerest apologies.
Biggest Fuckin Pussies Who Get Pissed at Me(vol. 1)
1)
So I informed the entire bar that you were a frigid bitch for moving away after I copped a feel. Nice tits. Wonderbra?
2)
His real name is Justin. I cannot tell you that his last name is Rosenberg. Because that would be invading his privacy. He hates me to the point that he refuses my pepper steak. Cuz of that pic. I have worse, buddy.
3)
Kozemp.
That's all I can come up with for now. Isn't it amazing how this turned into an "attack my friends on a public forum" thing instead of me making fun of regular people cuz I refuse to talk about my job? Much fun. Keep reading.
Now, there is a list of GOOD SPORTS who do not get mad when I make fun of them.
1)
Wombat. Or better known as the CEO of Gaytard Magazine. or as we like to refer to him Jeffrey Aaron "I hate having sex with girls" Payne. See, he won't get mad. That's cuz he's a GOOD SPORT. cheerio.
2)
Sagien, King of Awesome. You gorgeous man you..
Im a good sport arnt I?
Wheres my general tsous chichen dammit???
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Posted by: VD at September 28, 2004 11:52 PMJeff looks like a rockstar in that pic.
Posted by: Dino at September 29, 2004 12:10 AMMan, thats a good pic of me. And it's true: I hate sex with girls.
Posted by: wombat at September 29, 2004 09:13 AMJay's underwear pic is the only thing thats saving this blog, and you've used it twice.
Posted by: shftleft at September 29, 2004 11:58 AMas opposed to your blog. with nothing in it.
Posted by: sagien at September 29, 2004 12:12 PMI think that if this public forum saw the picture of jeff and J all curled up together with jeff's hand on j's boner (that we took the same day along with hundreds of other pics and a live video feed documenting the entire event). . . it would up the comments per post about . . oh. . . . about a hunnerd or so. 226244 (bidding starts at $.02)
Posted by: Pete Lips at September 29, 2004 01:21 PMold sagien blog > new sagien blog
What we need here are some work pics and a good old fashioned termination. Maybe you could start selling advertising and pimp the blog as "the hilariously asian adventures of sagien and his quirky attempts at termination"
I predict a winner.
Posted by: mincus at September 29, 2004 02:24 PMi think more pics of me being awesome would increase traffic. also, further slanderings of kozemp the chimp will make me smile. laugh, even.
Posted by: wombat at September 29, 2004 11:34 PMKozemp: it's a full offer for a hand job
sagien: uh.. i cant right now.
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Posted by: sagien at September 30, 2004 12:35 AMIt's true.
I offer hand jobs. Cheap, too.
But then I thought to myself - I can't give Mike a hand job. Everyone knows you need hot water to really clean yourself up after giving hand jobs. I'd have to drive all the way back home to wash my hands.
I mean, I could do what wombat does and just live in my own filth, but that certainly wouldn't fly because I'm not, you know, a colubus monkey.
And sagien's solution isn't exactly a great choice either. "Hey, Mrs. Sagien, can I use your bathroom? Yeah, I need to get your son's come off my hands."
I don't do oral - not for the kind of money sagien has, at least - so that's not an option in re: cleanup.
No, unfortunately in this case the hand jobs will have to wait until wombat and sagien have plumbing facilities equal to those of the 1920s; that is to say, until the end of time.
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JLK
Posted by: Kozemp at September 30, 2004 12:52 AMtranslation:
blah blah blah blah, im an idiot, blah blah blah.
Posted by: wombat at September 30, 2004 12:59 AMafter actually READING kozemp's comment I'd like to add the following:
Main Entry: clev·er
Pronunciation: 'kle-v&r
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle English cliver, perhaps of Scandinavian origin; akin to Danish dialect kløver alert, skillful
1 a : skillful or adroit in using the hands or body : NIMBLE b : mentally quick and resourceful but often lacking in depth and soundness
2 : marked by wit or ingenuity
repetition does not a clever person make. ingenuity, freshness, something different, these are the things of cleverness. (see definition number two.) get some new jokes, "comedian." or, keep commenting on our plumbing and maybe you could join the redneck comedy tour, because, man, those guys can make a toothless trailer whore laugh like she's never heard the phrase "i'm stupid... here's your sign." i bet your little "i know these two guys with no hot water" bit would go over pretty well. maybe you could get a sitcom on the WB or UPN. it could be called "The Big Dumb." It's about a guy who thinks he's funny and lives with his parents, cherishing their plumbing and food.
good idea, huh?
Posted by: wombat at September 30, 2004 08:41 AMsagien, way to go off topic to defend your shitty posts.
Posted by: shftleft at September 30, 2004 09:09 AMYou guys don't have hot water?
Posted by: Dino at September 30, 2004 10:33 AMumm, you copped a feel off of me at that very same bar the very same night (along with that other guy's mom!?) and i was cool with it AND you made open references in your blog about my sex life without my consent or knowledge... and i was also cool with it. in fact, i'm just cool in general.
and i once took a shit in a bag.
Posted by: k8thegr8 at September 30, 2004 11:38 AMand i was like.. oh shit.. is that judith.. and i was like.. no its that other broad who's tits i grabbed...
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Posted by: sagien at September 30, 2004 11:49 AMGOY graphs are posted!
www.iseeseveralflaws.com/wombat
Posted by: wombat at September 30, 2004 12:06 PMKate - it's a good thing no one read's Jeff's site or else they'd know all about your sex life.
Posted by: Dino at September 30, 2004 02:35 PM