-=(Sagien)=-

Linus Lowery is GAY!

"NMG is being a pussy.. we need old nmg back!"

-Brahmus

By day...

I have come to be aware to the fact that everyone is ripping on each other too much. Without my clever remarks about slightly off center members of civilization, I have brought you, my beloved readership, to cutting each other's throats.

I have traversed several rounds throughout the neighborhood to bring this ISSF/Sagien internal war to an end. Today, I went to purchase some 4/$3 tuna. The venerable chicken of the sea.

Before I even entered the establishment, I came across someone who is probably on her bi-weekly excersize run through the butter section of the local grocery store. Her cart was filled to overflowing capacity with Land-o-Lakes(tm) butter. Everyone knows of the natural capabilities of butter, especially the unsalted kind. What possible motive would this person have to purchase THAT MUCH butter. One of my superhero deductive powers can only imagine. She's EVIL -- she's BRILLIANT! I'm watching Basic Instinct.

This just in!

Brahmus: man i have a roll of duct tape
Brahmus: nowhere to put it so i put in top drawer of my nightstand
sagien: ok..
Brahmus: next to feather tickler handcuffs condoms and shit
sagien: uh..

Stay away from this man.

I cannot begin to comprehend what he does to the dog and where he keeps its remains. Cannot begin to comprehend....

Back to your regular news

About two feet into the store, I was frozen in pure horror.

My whole body was petrified, and with an unsteady hand and a shaking thumb on the "OK" button of the coolio phone, I was able to capture the monstrosity with the coolio phone.

The contorted manifestation of what one can only describe as a black fat bitch roamed the ocean before my eyes. I can only praise whatever being is present up there and protecting me that its periferal vision is somewhat limited due to the immense black fat buildup around its eyes. What failed to fit into my realm of comprehension is that this creature seemed to be browsing the fruit section. My first hypothesis is that maybe it was an herbivore. Perhaps, I thought. My theory was proved incorrect, however, when it made its way to the butter section. It scoffed when it found that its favorite brand was sold out and went to the butcher instead. There it purchased a bucket of lard. Clearly, for its own consumption. It then proceeded to buy some lunch meat for its offspring.

I bring you back to the wonderful, soothing reality that is me. Photo courtesy of shftleft. The asian under azn eyes. The superhero-like wake that he leaves as he disperses the multi racial ocean of whales. What will it be next time? What manner of being will he expose and defeat? Stay tuned. Same azn time.. same azn channel.

Cheers!

FatBitchWhaleWeek(tm) has been brought to you by wombat.. if he ain't GOY, then he's retard of the week.

And by mincus

Look! Still no track marks!

Posted by sagien at October 6, 2004 12:49 AM