Hello again, from my life.
It has dawned on me that this space is becoming more "bloglike" in nature. What I mean by that is that I seem to be talking more about myself rather than focusing on what made this blog successful in its height of popularity. Well, nobody really cares about that. I certainly don't.
Let's get down to business, shall we?
Blinding, searing pain
I think my body is falling apart. There are several things wrong with it that instead of just going through them one at a time, I'll have to place them in list form in order to comprehensively cover each malfunction.
1) Blinding, searing pain to the mouth. Otherwise known as a toothache. ALot of my brain cells are in concensus on one thing other than the fact that it hurts like hell: the dumbass bit into something and broke a filling. It smarts quite a bit, to the point that one day, I actually came close to passing out from it. Solution? 12 excedrin tablets. which brings us to the next malfunction.
2) Taking too much excedrin makes one paranoid that maybe you're overdosing on excedrin. This paranoia brings up heart rates etc etc when you realize that you've taken 4 more than whats recommended for a 12 hour period and 6 of those pills were ingested within the last 2 hours. Paranoia is a minor thing, though, compared to what REALLY caused the paranoia..
3) Chronic sleep deprivation. Well, thats really an exagerration. I actually get plenty of sleep, I just thought I'd throw that in there... well.. its weird sleep, but its sleep and you take it how you can get it.
4) My arm hurts. Some of you might say its because of the job that involves storm doors and newspapers, one being a projectile and the other a target. However, this would be an incorrect assumption. I shall explain with a story.
Subplot #1
...sagien has always been jealous of the other cars in the express lane. they get to go through the tolls much quicker than he can because of a silly white box that he keeps forgetting to acquire. not today, he thought. today, i will be just as fast as the other cars. he developed a plan.. a plan to somehow get the coins needed for the toll in a manner which would require minimun deceleration of the vehicle.
...the plan involves a quick hand, and good hand eye coordination. timed just right, he would only have to decelerate by about five to ten miles in order to accurately get the coins in there. ..
...so now the moment of truth.. decelerate .. forty miles per hour... straight line towards an empty toll booth.. coins at the ready.. BAM.. theyre in.. cept for the fact that his hand gets caught in the basket and bangs that and his bicep gets banged on the back window edge of the car. it stings a bit, but everything seems to be okay and he sped through the tollbooth just like the other cars did..
til the next morning.. when it hurt like burning.
Back to the list
5)the whooping cough. I cannot stop coughing. I am now consigned to the fact that this will probably lead to my death. Which brings us to list number two.
People I don't want at my funeral
well, thats a joke. I want all of you to come. Bring flowers.
Posted by sagien at December 9, 2004 11:37 AMStop smoking.
Posted by: shftleft at December 9, 2004 11:49 AMYeah, what he said.
But if you don't quit, and you do in fact die, can I have your...ah, shit...you really don't have anythink that nice. :-P I guess I'll settle for your laptop.
Man, what an unrewarding friendship. :-D
Posted by: Dino at December 9, 2004 03:12 PMHmm.. yeah it was wombat who mentioned dibs on the laptop on the event of my death. Since he's a douchebag now and aint getting shit from me ever, yes, Dino, you now have current dibs on laptop.
On a minor note, I do not believe that the smoking is what caused the sudden coughing fits, although it was nonexistant as a factor in preventing the whooping cough syndrome. Not to worry though, I have acquired a giant bottle of Centrum and am now eating it like candy. That shuold be sufficient preventive maintenance.
Oh yeah, since we're doing requests.. I'd also like you people to bring tears to my funeral. Lots of them. Thx.
942942
Posted by: sagien at December 9, 2004 05:44 PMI would recommend a Medicinal Screwdriver for what ails you.
Posted by: Kudra44 at December 11, 2004 09:53 PMMan, I almost wish I was sick so I could have medicinal screwdrivers. But I'm not sick, I are stabbed, and the only thing that goes well with a stabbing is a bloody mary. And bloody mary's are teh suck.
Posted by: Joe Camel at December 13, 2004 11:27 AM