-=(Sagien)=-

How to Stop Time, and Other Tricks of the Temporal Trade

I don't know if it's just December or whether I'm actually getting really busy all the time, but this weekend was full of all sorts of stories.

Now, I'd like to tell those stories, if I can remember any of them..

Are those paper towels our napkins?

So kris and i went straight to famous dave's(tm) right after i got done with work. The second work. Yeah, the real one. Anyway, we walk in and she looks around to take the place in. She comments about the atmostphese being quite southerly and how we didn't fit in. Oh well, I wanted to eat some pig.

Normally I'd have pictures for this next part, however, the coolio phone is non-functional right now due to the changing over to different plan scenario I'm in the middle of. It is unfortunate, I know.

Anyway, as we sit there on the bench waiting for our table, making idle chit chat and what have you, these people walked in.

"Oh god, I figured we'd see some trash tonight, but I didn't think it'd be this bad"

As I turned to see what she was referring to, the room got a little bit dimmer. My next reaction rivaled that of the reaction the actors had at Jurassic Park(tm) when they saw the giant Brontosaurus(i think i read somewhere that these didn't really exist). Except I saw three of them. They asked to sit at the bar.

"I hope their barstools are made of some kinda carbon-fiber composite," i whispered to kris. She giggles. That's right, I can make girls giggle. Even though I wouldn't really consider what she does "giggling".

So, we wait and eventually our table was ready. They sat us behind the ancient beasts, to my horror. Fortunately, they were using space-aged bamboo for the barstools to be able to support their weight. As I sat down on the chair, i had a sudden flashback...

...[insert squigly lines here]...

It's hot here. I'm in Arkansas. These people have never seen an Asian before in their lives.. except probably the older ones, in the jungles of Vietnam. In which case, they hate me.. I should tell them about the time I built tiger traps...

snap back to reality

I can tell from the look on Kris' face that she wasn't really enjoying this. The copious amounts of fingerfoods on the menu is enough to make her wrinkle her nose. Let's not even get into how most of them were made of pig..

Now, I personally like places like this for the most part. I enjoy consuming pork doused in brownish questionable sauce. I don't even mind using my hands. Meanwhile, Kris is cutting chicken tenders with a knife and fork. However, between the creaking of barstools to my left, the bitchy waitress who probably couldn't read on a fourth grade level and the sudden realization that these people probably voted for Bush, I decided that I don't like Famous Dave's(tm).

"Oh good, I was gonna ask her for napkins but then I realized that those paper towels on a pipe screwed into the wall are what we'll be using"

So who's picking the place to eat next time?

Abandonment Issues

What I propose to get into next shouldn't be constituted as an attack. Instead, we should look at it as more like a sporting event, like Disney on Ice(tm) or something.

Our dear friend wombat has alot of trouble keeping people interested in keeping him company. This happens for a variety of reasons, none of which are his fault. I propose to you a betting mechanism based on who will abandon wombat next. The chances for winning are actually quite good, considering there arent many left. I also know that alot of you are still friends with him, however most of you who are are longshots and have been eliminated from the list. Like shft, for example. You live a bazillion miles away and that kinda negates you as someone who would abandon him since you already have. You are nothing more than a bi-weekly presence, which is really cool of you to come and hang out, but it really isnt enough time to drink in the essence* of wombat. The same reasoning goes for mincus. And he's around even less.

I'd throw kudra into the mix, but wombat will not hang out with joe camel, and without joe, kudra isn't whole therefore eliminating her from the list.

There's those people in California. Yeah you stopped counting the moment you travelled back to the past.

I'm sorry animplodingvoice was probably a good thing to put in, cept i heard some shit.

Uh.. that leaves uh.. fuck. Forget this. It's, like, down to two people. Fuck it. Perhaps we shall pick this up when wombat gets some more friends.

Nice plan nmg. Look how it bombed?

Ahem

The story above is just friday, and not even all of friday. I realized as I was writing it that it was getting long. I'll continue with it in the next couple of days.

..to be continued...

*not his fault

Posted by sagien at December 20, 2004 11:37 AM