January 30, 2005
I Break Everything I Touch
What in the bloody fuck?
My girlfriend is nice enough to let me borrow her car in the morning while I was carless to drive it to my parent's house to acquire an adequate car for the paper route.
It was cold enough that morning at 3:00 AM. Somewhere around 17 degrees Fahrenheit. I couldn't see out the back because of the frost, so I turned on her defroster.
So I drove. Happily. I am always happy when I drive to work. While I have no car to call my own. And its below freezing. This combination of circumstances make for a wonderful morning. No, I am not being sarcastic. You should try it.
Anyway, I was driving. After about 5 minutes of being on the road, I hear this loud cracking pop. Or something to that effect. I looked behind me and the rear car window has been downgraded to cracked glass, desperately clinging to each other, with a gaping hole in the middle.
I immediately ruled out punk ass kids due to the fact that it is 3:00 AM, and I wasn't in the inner city. I continued driving, hoping that the glass will hold up. I was wrong. The whole rear window fell apart piece by piece. And each piece was about the size of a tiny diamond.
Eventually, it turned into this into the picture at the beginning of the post. I had to do my route, so I left it as it is at my parent's house, planning to fix it when I get back. This was the result of my efforts:
I double layered it. With some Glad trash bags and masking tape. Clearly, a superior display of auto repair superiority. Comes with being asian, much like the superior golden brown skin baked to perfection in God's oven.
See? Inside and out. Durable, longlasting repair. Much better than Kris' mother's repair job. What with her heavy duty shipping clear plastic.
Shit, you can somewhat see out of that. And they used packing tape. I didn't want to say anything out of respect, but obviously, that kinda stuff just wasn't going to hold up. Oh well.
Ahh, good times.
Posted by: kris at January 30, 2005 07:52 PMUhhhh.. What the HELL hit it? Gaping hole? Quit touching things, ham fist!
Posted by: April at January 30, 2005 08:55 PMDon't you know better than to turn on the defroster when its that cold outside?
Sheesh, and I thought Azns were supposed to be smart.
Posted by: VD at January 31, 2005 12:30 AMDon't you know better than to turn on the defroster when its that cold outside?
Sheesh, and I thought Azns were supposed to be smart.
Posted by: VD at January 31, 2005 12:30 AMand how long have you been commenting on here and know better than to click on the button twice?
Posted by: sagien at January 31, 2005 10:28 AMLexan won't shatter like that. :)
Posted by: Dino at January 31, 2005 10:58 AM"maybe you should put an eyepatch over it, and when she asks what happened to the car just say.. nyarrrrr"
Posted by: dirt. at January 31, 2005 03:26 PMoh thats a good reference to a funny story. Unfortunately, I am ill equipt to tell it. Perhaps someone else can?
Posted by: sagien at January 31, 2005 06:01 PMso, we were shooting "quest for the rectal diamond," when the scene called for a character to get creamed by the Crown Vic. So, Nick lept onto the hood of the Vic as it moved ever so slightly. But, Nick was a good jumper, and he lept right into the windshield, crackging and denting the passenger side pretty good. Since ashbiter's mom wouldnt like this too much, i suggested we put an eye patch over the soon-to-be hole. The idea was that if she asked what happened, respond with "Argghhhhh..."
I can only assume it worked.
Posted by: wombat at February 1, 2005 08:44 AMA big round of applause for wombat for stomaching his way through the entire post today... especially considering Sagien "writes like an idiot"... or at least wombat thinks so....
http://www.iseeseveralflaws.com/wombat/archives/000219.html#more
I smell a hypocrite.
Posted by: nmg at February 1, 2005 05:02 PMi just got my cold heat soldering iron in the mail...
i don't know if you can solder glass with it.
it did however come with some neato frito bandito wire strippers.
Posted by: dirt. at February 2, 2005 04:11 PMHi, I'm NMG, and I suck dick for money. Also, I write off my friends for no reason. And, I suck dick for money.
Posted by: wombat at February 4, 2005 03:29 PMits funny when wombat has nothing to say back at you and his defense mechanisms kick in.
Posted by: sagien at February 4, 2005 03:45 PMwombat got written off for very good reasons. Like, trying to pretend he hasn't pissed off everyone he knows by casually slipping back into the fold. Not gonna work, dude. This is how you know when you've REALLY burned a bridge.
Posted by: nmg at February 4, 2005 04:45 PMI stopped caring about NMG's friendship when I got sick of how much of a fickle jackass he is. It doesn't seem fair that you take things out on other people just because your music is derivative and sucks, and because you have nothing legitimate to say.
Oh, shit. I'm sorry. No, wait... Drop dead.
p.s. By the way, I didn't burn a bridge with you, if you recall. It was the other way around. Which goes back to the fact that you're a shitty, fickle little asshead.
Posted by: wombat at February 6, 2005 10:47 AMfly eagles fly, on the road to victory...
Posted by: wysteria at February 6, 2005 04:33 PMApparently, you're too stupid to know when a bridge is burned... I suppose you think that Sagien burned the bridge with you too? god, it must be unbarable to feel like such a victim. Don't you find it coincidental that your friends keep dropping like flies? What's more likely- we're all assholes, or just you... think about that, really think about it. we're all still friends with each other! Conflicts all seem to exist with YOU. The rest of us ALL get along.
And, might i congratulate captain obvious on stating the same facts about my music that are in my PR bio. I pride myself on being derivative, a tall criticism from somebody who's sonic trademark revolves around his nasal,nannygoat braying... and at least i don't write about myself.... constantly... and how the girl i work with doesn't love me back.... and won't leave her boyfriend for me... i mean sure, you've got lots to say. But, unfortunately it's all about you, and therefore completely uninteresting. You can criticize others' music all you want, but how does it feel to know that the hight of you're creative endevours echoe's "I heard Somers Point likes to ROCK!!!!" \m/
Posted by: nmg at February 7, 2005 10:55 AMOH SNAP!
Posted by: sagien at February 7, 2005 11:24 AMbummer about the car.
these people are crazy though - the first thing I do when I get in the car in the winter is turn on the rear defrost. Since when is that 'bad'?
if you're supposed to wait until it defrosts by itself, wouldn't that make the 'defrost' button pretty pointless?
Posted by: Dawn (webmiztris) at February 7, 2005 04:52 PMyeah, because pop music is never about girls.
Posted by: wombat at February 8, 2005 08:21 AMJeff, just give it up. You're not redeeming yourself in any way whatsoever by saying anything more.
You got served.
Posted by: sagien at February 8, 2005 11:37 AM