February 11, 2005
The Season of Lent
A day late, but appropriate...
The Christian Season of Lent
Ah, yes. The much awaited Lent Season is here! And due to my affiliation, I have decided to go above and beyond the required give up one(1) thing for Lent. I shall give up three(3) things that I hold dear to me for this holiest of seasons.
Thing One
I shall give up smoking. I smoke about half a pack of cigarettes per day. I use it as a coping mechanism to handle two places of employment. To further my health and to be closer to God, I have decided to quit smoking.
Thing Two
Ignore the part about alcohol. I will not be giving that up. I will, however, cease to consume cows. Cows are a benign breed, not to be eaten. That means I give up steak, burgers, roast beef sammiches, hotdogs, and anything that contain cows. Pigs I will eat, because they are tasty. Not cows, however. I have deemed them *un*tasty.
Thing Three
I will be giving up Lent.
Steps I Have Taken to Celebrate These Holy Days
I missed Ash Wednesday, as made blatantly obvious by this two day late entry. I could've made this entry on Wednesday, when Ash Wednesday was in full swing, but that would mean NOT missing it, in clear violation of Thing Three.
But, Sagien, what about the other two things? Would'nt observing those other two sacrifices be a complete violation of Thing Three?
Right you are, young grasshopper. I have taken steps in order to appease the paradox that I have created for myself.
Observe this blurry picture. What is it, you ask? It is the remainder of my dinner for tonight. Now bow your heads in prayer as I pay my respects to Lent and the soon-to-be-dead-and-risen Jesus Christ.
Amen.
And to wash away the sins of the world, I lit a Camel Turkish Gold. Double Amen.
Now I shall speak in tongues....
Ung-dah do-hah
Posted by sagien at February 11, 2005 08:38 PMWow. I was scarred at first, and then greatly relieved... now I want a cigarette and some cow.
Posted by: james at February 11, 2005 08:47 PMGet a haircut you tree-huggin hippy.
Posted by: April at February 11, 2005 09:08 PMHe'll blame me, but I told him he needs one. :/ Damn hippies...
Posted by: kris at February 11, 2005 09:10 PMI concur with the "get a haircut" sentiment.
It's just not you, Mike.
JLK
Posted by: Kozemp at February 11, 2005 10:03 PM2 out of 4 people who's commented so far is overweight.
Posted by: sagien at February 12, 2005 11:13 AMUng-dah!
I cant really think of anything to say right now, but I felt compelled to at least type some meaningless drivle. Im not fully functional untill I've had my second cup of coffee.
Oh yeah. I got a gym membership. It diddn't do it for lent. Actually I diddn't even know it was lent. I just wanted a place I could go to get away from certain people and also do something productive at the same time. Ive lost 10 pounds in the last week. Hurray for me!
:::::Flame suit on:::::
Posted by: VD at February 12, 2005 11:44 AMThere's cow in hot dogs?
Posted by: shftleft at February 12, 2005 12:21 PMsome are beef, some are pork.. some are even turkey or tofurkey!
Posted by: k8 at February 13, 2005 12:59 PMSome come in shrink wrapping, some in cans, some even come cooked, in a plastic box
Posted by: sagien at February 13, 2005 01:07 PMI love it! I'm giving up smoking and lent too, if you don't mind me stealing your idea.
Posted by: Sarah at February 13, 2005 07:05 PMsmoking's for people who don't know how to fish.
Posted by: dirt. at February 13, 2005 07:36 PMalso seaweeddogs. wieners are very versatile.
Posted by: wysteria at February 14, 2005 08:38 PMI like your hair that length...
Posted by: James at February 18, 2005 03:51 PM