-=(Sagien)=-

Systematically Home

In a fit of spontaneous motivational movement, I managed to accomplish something useful.

My apartment now feels more like home. It's a wonderful feeling. It needs a few more things, but the general gist of it being mine is complete.

I figured that now would be a good time to recap things I still need:

Missing Things

Item Name: A pair of tongs.
Level of Importance: 4

I need a set of tongs because I am scratching the shit out of my frying pans, especially when I make chicken.

But, sagien, can't you just use a spatula?

Yes, I can. I can also use loaves of bread for napkins that I can throw over the balcony of The Rice Pad after I wipe my grease ridden fingers to the throngs of begging lower middle class people below. I can use ANYTHING. However, because I'm not retarded, I need to get a set of tongs.

Item Name: Patio Furniture
Level of Importance: 5

I recently received a phone call, a letter stuck to my door and yet another letter in my mailbox concerning my taste in balcony furniture. These are what I've been using before:

Those came to my possession as a present from Joe Camel. Apprently, the prestigous Sea Aire Apartments feel that barstools are unacceptable fixtures to use as patio furniture. However, satellite dishes are completely acceptable.

The kind of patio furniture I would need would never be as nice as the ones I stole off of Google image search. No. They would need to be the white plastic ghetto white trash kind to match the elegance present in my apartment complex.

Item Name: Shelves for my ghetto entertainment system.
Level of Importance: 7

What's pictured next to John Stewart is actually a kitchen cabinet Big Joe(my father) and I picked up at the dumpster next to the lumber yard. In a flash of genius, I thought, "Hey! I can use that!"

It sat in storage for six months.

The higher level of importance means I'd like this project to be completed soon due to the fact that the sight of this thing irritates me. I even purchased a tape measure to measure the dimensions of the shevles that I'll need. To this day, I couldn't give you those numbers.

And while Asians are stereotyped to be good with numbers, this, much like the other stereotype about genital size, does not apply to me.

That's all of tonight. There are actually several other things I need, but in fear of being considered homosexual(window treatments, area rug, candles), I will not be revealing those things here.

But it almost feels like home.

Posted by sagien at July 15, 2005 12:08 AM