-=(Sagien)=-

Avert Your Gaze!

I'm so sorry.

SORRY!

I didn't mean to, my fingers just started typing. GOD! WHAT AN IDIOT I AM.

Keep reading.

The Day God Ceased to Exist

It all started while I was very young. Jesus was the way, and God was the answer. I was born into a Roman Catholic Filipino family, fearing the wrath of God and begging shamelessly for his grace each and every fuckin day.

By age five, I could pray the rinse, wash, repeat cycle of the Rosary. I loathed the Rosary. I thought of it as the equivalent of my mother asking me to take the trash out over and over again, each time just as nice and monotonous as the last.

I attribute my prowess with the GW-BASIC language with praying the rosary. Especially loops. Boy was I good at making loops.

10 PRINT "Hail Mary full of gracethelordiswithyoublessedartthouamongstwomenandblessedisthefruit of THEY WOMB JESUS"
20 PRINT "Holy marymotherofgodprayforussinnersnowandatthehourofour deaths AMEN"
30 GOTO 10

I've mentioned before that I was enrolled in an all boy school, and by second grade I was reading passages of the Bible in front of throngs of people in the school's chapel.

This is the first reading according to Saint Dumbass

The awful thing is that I used to be able to quote from the Bible quite fluently. I read in church that often. When I received my first communion, I did the gospel reading. Everyone was so proud of their little boy. Truly, I was God's presence incarnate.

The outlook from the eyes of someone who lives in a third world nation is so bleak and flaccid. Money is so hard to come by that you will grab and hold on to ANYTHING that you think you can help you.

Including 15 Hail Mary's.

The day God ceased to exist happened after I moved to the United States. This occured, not because of the fact that I am no longer living in a third world nation, but because I was old enough to have a brain. And my wonderful thinking brain came up with the following:

1) God did not bring you to the United States. It was a carefully thought out plan by your parents to conceive a child to give birth to in the U.S. Science won here.

2) Detach yourself for a moment while you're at a Roman Catholic mass. Listen to the verses that those people repeat over and over again. They're chanting, standing, kneeling and sitting in preprogrammed fashions. The only difference between religion and a cult is that a religion is recognized by the government.

3) The strictest Roman Catholic beliefs prohibit you to have sex before marraige. Not that it mattered then -- I was a virgin between the ages of 0 and 19.

4) Logic. My brain thought "ooh logic".

..and I'm going to end this now, because I believe that my brain is correct in assuming that I am hurting my reader's minds. Instead, I'll just give you the wombat status report.

Wombat is alive and well. He was close to death, but I fed him some of the Sagien Family pasta.

On last account he was also getting laid. Reports are fuzzy as to who.

He still hates women. He considers them stupid.

He's still fat.

He hit another deer.

His apartment isn't burned down.

And he is lacking funds.

So it seems that wombat is alive, fed, sex0red, and despite lacking funds and killing God's creatures, he's rather content with himself. Did God do that?

Posted by sagien at July 26, 2005 01:47 PM