-=(Sagien)=-

Disagreeable

SCT05 is in full swing, wouldn't you think?

Sorry. No pics.

But There's Plenty of Words!

This is an essay I wrote for a writing class a couple of years ago. It comes to you completely uneditted in Im-too-lazy-to-make-a-new-post fashion. It is not funny, but I feel that it is a good read. The subject matter will be quite apparent as you read it. I was a fuckin genius, let me tell you. I should ask Past Sagien for advice more often...

The Balance of Love

The struggle for happiness within a relationship can be compared to the epic struggle between good and evil. People have strived to find a happy medium, and most has settled on what is comfortable, having failed to have found the happiness that they want. I have tried relationships where I held the superior brain, or so I thought. There have also been relationships where the other is vastly more intelligent that I am. My most recent engagement involved a person whom I consider of equal intelligence as I. In all of these cases, there has always been a power struggle, regardless of the balance of intelligence between me and my partners. While it is true that couples of equal intelligence will have more of a chance to find things in common and, therefore, have more of a chance to find happiness based on the activities that they both love to do, I have come to the conclusion that the intelligence of your partner plays a minor part in the overall happiness of a relationship. The balance of love does not stem from the balance of intelligence of the individuals in a partnership but from the balance of their egos and personalities and the chemistry that they create.
Women are smarter than men in a lot of ways. There has been more geniuses for being human among women than there have among men. Women have a good grasp of science and the abstract. They also have a better capacity for common sense than most men do. Women are better equipped to be nurturing in a relationship than men are. Women love the human race; men are, on the whole, hostile to it. The maturity level of women can also be somewhat more developed than men's. They will have more of a tendency to base the success of their relationships not on physical attraction, but on the mental and emotional viability of their partners.
Men are not without their own shows of intelligence, however. Men have a better sense of purpose, the origins of which came from the dawn of mankind itself. They are mostly hunter-gatherers, responsible for feeding their families and keeping everyone in the tribe physically fit. While this is hardly a show of intelligence, but rather a product of millions of years of evolution, it still demonstrates the men’s better capacity to exist in a working environment. In regards to maintaining a relationship, most women will inherently want a man who can provide.
A balanced availability of intelligence can bring happiness to a relationship by providing a good platform for a stable partnership. Intelligent people are well equipped to handle the rigors of daily life. While it doesn't take rocket science to schedules one's life to fit the schedule of a loved one for quality time together, it takes a certain degree of intelligence and maturity in both individuals to understand that it is unhealthy to spend all their available time on their partner and to neglect their respective obligations to their own individual lives. A good balance of intelligence in a relationship can also bring a good amount of commonality into it. Couples with more things in common tend to be happier than those that have little to share with each other. However, commonality or a good debate that stemmed from the smarts and wit of two individuals can only go so far in a relationship. Couples will, by default, find common ground to establish a platform on which to grow their relationship. Common ground can be a powerful thing in developing a happy relationship. But, with intelligence also comes ego.
In the long run, it wouldn't matter if the individuals that make up a partnership or a marriage are of the same level of intelligence or if they are poles apart. Man and woman have something in common in their egos. Everyone will like to think that they are smarter in some respects than their partner and vice versa. This forms the power struggle that I was speaking of earlier. Further along in a relationship, there will come a time when an important decision has to be made. It is up to the personalities of the respective individuals in the relationship on who will decide this point of contention. This can be any decision made. A relationship always develops a controlling half and a submissive half. This has been true in every single relationship I have been in. Someone will be the decision maker for the partnership. It can be said that a lot of couples strive for a more democratic decision making structure in a relationship, but this is merely a power struggle between two people with an equal amount of ego – one where one mind cannot completely dominate the other. Happiness is attained when both parties are comfortable with their role the relationship. Chaos can ensue if the decision making party makes the wrong choice.
While intelligence can play a big role in the establishment of happiness in a marriage, it is not the only factor to insure its success. The balance of ego must be met, regardless of the intelligence level of the individuals participating in a relationship. While I am more in agreement that individuals of equal intelligence tend to be happier with one another and that intelligence will always seek out intelligence, the relationships that I have experienced tend to dictate that being happy in a relationship doesn’t rely mainly on the intelligence levels of the people in it. I've found myself happy with individuals of lesser or greater intelligence as I, as well as those who share the same IQ level as I do. Clearly, the levels of intelligence with my past partners had nothing to do with me being happy because I managed to maintain long lasting relationships with all of them, regardless of their intelligence level. This is due to the fact that a balance of ego was achieved in the relationship. There have been instances when I was more than happy to do what I was told because the decision making party made sense. The same is true of the opposite. I am very well capable of making good decisions and my partner would be more than happy to participate in my decisions. These relationships failed because the balance of power has been upset, not because there was a massive intelligence shift between me and my partner.
Happiness does not stem from the contrast of intelligence between two individuals but on the agreement of their respective personalities. It is what one finds beautiful, physically and emotionally, in another person that brings out feelings of euphoria and bliss. One does not have to be of the same mental capacity as their partner to be happy with them. As long as they trust that their personalities can coexist, then both of them will be happy.

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I know it's a bit cheesey, and the whole "You don't have to worry about who's smarter" bit kinda gets hammered into your skull again and again, but that's what the professor wanted to see.

Let me know what you think. I already think it's a stroke of genius, but wtf do I know..

Posted by sagien at September 20, 2005 05:21 AM