-=(Sagien)=-

Two Posts, One after the Other

It might seem like overload, but I don't care. You guys miss me.

The Laptop by Michael Uy

It was given to me as a present. The laptop itself wasn’t the present in mind; it was the ability to have one. I've always wanted one. It took several meticulous hours of searching until I found the proper one. I had even picked one, and ordered it, and cancelled the order at the last minute. I needed the best one I can get for the amount of money that I had.

When it finally arrived, I set up it fresh. I reinstalled the operating system, and turned it into the laptop I wanted it to be. No wallpaper, minimal icons on the desktop, a blank load page for the browser, and minimal software installed and running at startup for efficiency. It was a blank canvas with which to paint my life with.

Into it, I placed the music that I like, bookmarked the websites that I liked, installed a word processor, and the most important aspect of all: an instant messenger. Everything was set. This was to be the platform with which to enter in new ideas, keep in contact with friends, and make new ones. A blank page to write my thoughts into.

The only thing left to do was to christen it with a name. Freya. My laptop was to be a girl. It sat on top of my body, mesmerizing me with its lapdance of new worlds from the Internet. It was a place to privately chat with people, to play games, to be part of communities online that only I knew of, and was master of.

It went through life in a household with my best friends, and went through the breakup of that place.

It saw the end of a two year relationship, one that eventually changes the heart and soul of its owner only a little too late.

It moved to Castle Splendor, and endured its harsh environments.

It saw the sands of the beaches of the Philippines, and consumed 240V power.

It saw the eyes of a girl I loved, that I trusted to have her rest itself on her lap.

It saw the apartment and the life that I built for myself.

Through it all, it battled through spyware, popups, virii, and 80 hours of pornography residing in its harddrive.

It created mix CDs from the stores of MP3s within its shell.

It lovingly kept a journal full of complaints and soul searching words created by its owner.

It helped maintain a blog, helping in a search for validation with his friends and complete strangers.

It saw through the eyes of a webcam as a girl two thousand miles away stripped on its screen while on the phone with the person whose lap it sat on.

It held on to hundreds of pictures, of people and places that the person who owned it captured and stored.

It triumphantly waved goodbye to one browser and happily embraced the next.

It endured the installation of several different IM clients so its owner can speak to girls from Myspace.

Logs of conversation resided in one of its folders, adding yet to the memories that it guarded.

Two days ago, after two and a half years of holding thoughts, dreams and memories, my laptop crashed. With it went the un-backed-up years that I’ve fought through. Now I stare at a new clean slate. I can’t help but wonder what I’ve neglected on this machine that is now forever gone.

Freya died. Long live Freya.

Posted by sagien at December 7, 2005 04:10 AM