-=(Sagien)=-

Another Foot in Hell's Door

I figured that the only way to appease some people who are all like "all you do is talk about yourself" and not get fired from my job or sued or whatever is to make fun of people on the Internets.

This one will probably guarantee some minor soul burning.

Cragislist to the rescue!

A nerdy woman looking for her nerdy man. - 23

Promising title. Let's take a look!

Hello :)
My name is Erin and I'm here looking for someone with intelligence, a good sense of humor, open-mindedness, and honesty.

Woot! She's all, "Hi, I'm Erin" and, digging deep from past experiences, most Erins are cute. Score!

I begin to imagine this cute, lithe creature. Bouncy and in short shorts.

And I'm smart, funny as hell... hmm not so open-minded.. and I lie constantly. Two out of four. I should be okay. Let's keep reading.

I like reading, writing fiction, playing board games, watching the Discovery Channel, and Jeopardy! Yes, I'm a nerd - how can you tell? ;) I also like to do less nerdy things like go to the movies, shop, take trips into the city, go out for a drink, and hang out in Atlantic City.

Wow! A girl who can read and write! This gets better and better.

And I like board games. I don't throw meticulously setup games of Risk after hours of frustrating play... Discovery Channel is okay and boy do I love Jeopardy. Aasome.

I can totally tell she's a nerd. I'm not a nerd, but that's fine. That means she'll worship me like a dependent, clingy human.

As an added bonus, she likes doing normal human things, too. Nice!

If you want to chat, drop me a line :)

I'm doing just that! =) ... but wait a sec...

I guess I should also mention that I'm in a wheelchair. It's not a big deal to me, and I hope it's not a big deal to you. Even though I'm disabled, I can do a lot of things. Please have an open mind. Thanks!

Oh dear God in Heaven.

I don't wanna be pushing around some gimp. This'd be like fuckin a chick with one leg. Plus my apartment has stairs.

There's no fuckin way in hell I'm installing a wheelchair lift.

And now I'm having visions of her falling off of the chair and people laughing at her... and to feel normal, I'd have to laugh along with them. I can't do this...

AAAAAAAAAhhh! Lordy!

FUCK! DUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRR DUuuuuuuuuuuuuRRR dur.

Dur.

----

And it'd probably be cool if I made this all up. At least I'm just an awful human being because of my imagination.

Too bad I didn't make it up. See?

Posted by sagien at October 12, 2006 09:17 PM