-=(Sagien)=-

You can see up my nose

See?

It has come to my attention that people have been getting upset about me posting pictures/false imagery about them. Although this isn't an aspect of life that I'm unacustomed to, I still feel that I should address the issue. So, my sincerest apologies.

Biggest Fuckin Pussies Who Get Pissed at Me(vol. 1)

1)

So I informed the entire bar that you were a frigid bitch for moving away after I copped a feel. Nice tits. Wonderbra?

2)

His real name is Justin. I cannot tell you that his last name is Rosenberg. Because that would be invading his privacy. He hates me to the point that he refuses my pepper steak. Cuz of that pic. I have worse, buddy.

3)

Kozemp.

That's all I can come up with for now. Isn't it amazing how this turned into an "attack my friends on a public forum" thing instead of me making fun of regular people cuz I refuse to talk about my job? Much fun. Keep reading.

Now, there is a list of GOOD SPORTS who do not get mad when I make fun of them.

1)

Wombat. Or better known as the CEO of Gaytard Magazine. or as we like to refer to him Jeffrey Aaron "I hate having sex with girls" Payne. See, he won't get mad. That's cuz he's a GOOD SPORT. cheerio.

2)

Sagien, King of Awesome. You gorgeous man you..

Ching Chang Chong Chang Chink

Yes. Late on monday too. How bout them apples. Only the best here at ISSF/Sagien.

A map of china. On the other side of the world.

Stories from the Great Wall

This is a pic i took of the Great Wall of Chine. OMGOMGOMG ITS SOOOoo PRETTY. I was showing a guy how a zipper works there. I think I have a pic of the guy somewhere. He was verily impressed. Verily.

I also gave him some uh.. cable. For his cabling needs. He thought it was multi colored bamboo shoots. I had to tell him he was wrong. I woulda given his starvin ass some food, but I was eating my whole riceburger today, thanks.

That there's a rice burger... ok fine. This whole thing is fake. I didn't even take those pics myself. And... and.. i wasn't going to give credit to whoever took them cuz .. well now I just don't know who took them.

In fact, I was too lazy to think anything up to write about. I can't write about my job, cuz I may get fired again.. I don't see anyone new, unless i just hang out at the bowling alley(which I'm just realizing is a mighty fine idea). And Im getting sick of constantly making fun of Very Dumb(VD). See? I can't even come up with witty meanings for those initials anymore. Woe is me.

My life is so sekret, I can't talk about what I did this weekend. As funny as it might be to some of you.

Me. upset. cuz. I. have. nothing. to. write. about. No content whatsoever, Kozemp will be upset. Oh I have a pic of Kozemp. He's too cute. Sec.

Awwwwe.

The Dark Knight

Things haven't been going well in Gotham City Algebra Book Factory, where they manufacture Sun God Awesomeness(tm), substance made to emulate Sun God-like capabilities when consumed by the common man.

It is a good thing the Dark Knight is on the prowl...

A new face has decided to grace the streets of Gotham this evening, landing on the roof of Gotham City Algebra Book Factory.

"I shall liberate a vial of Sun God Awesomeness(tm) and be Sun God-like in my powers! Then none shall stop me in my conquest of Gotham City!"

"At last, a gigantor vial of Sun God Awesomeness(tm). None shall be able to stand in my path.. not even --"

"BATMAN!!!!!!!!"

[insert Dark Knight music(tm) here]

"I don't think you'll get away with this, BadGuy," Batman says.

"HAHAHAHA You are TOOOO LAATE! My minions shall capture you!"

[minions and ensuing fight with Batman not pictured dude to lack of toys.. but Batman loses]

"I told you so, DARK KNIGHT. I have now captured you and tied you to this vial of Sun God Awesomeness(tm). Now I shall tell the tale of where I come from, and why I do this. And there's nothing you can do to stop me!"

"Ugh!"

"It all started years ago[flashback not pictured due to lack of new venue and toys].. blah blah blah.. and now I have the Sun God Awesomeness(tm). And you can't stop my plan!"

[Batman escapes, trust me. Fight with minions and how he does it is inconsequential.. and not pictured.. due to lack of toys and patience on the part of the author]

KAPOWOWOWOWOWOW!!!! Its the KNOCKOUT BLOW. Badguy is out.

With the villain dispatched, Batman returns the vial of Sun God Awesomeness(tm) to its rightful owners.

~FIN~ [insert Dark Knight music(tm) here]

In response to mincus' comment:

Yes China was good. That story next week. Promise. The next post on MONDAY shall explain all.

The powers that be

Wombat said I don't say much of anything to deserve that many comments, and I tend to agree. People want meat in these posts, a reason to laugh other than the comments someone else makes on my behalf. Theres a word for what happened in the last two days. That word?

that word is ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Gone are the days of the easy comment. People like me have to work for them. I feel awful about yesterday. What with the gangbang on Vaginal Drip and all. So I have decided to put up some pics that may or may not piss some people off. I even did photoshop work on them

This gentleman doesn't believe in teh Intarweb. Which is good for me, as long as people who know him don't tell him about it. I do want to point out that he posed for that picture.

This next one is beloved by all those who play the mud I play. Quite possible THE sexiest girl to ever grace the medieval lands of uhm.. mud(tm). For those of you wondering what "mud" is.. the answer to that question is better left to.. wait I DON'T GIVE A FUCK.

I've been recognized

So Joe Camel spotted the glowing red aura of free-donutdom. We quickly raced to the drivethru to earn our wel earned rewards. Free Donuts from Krispy uhm.. whateverthefuck(tm). I prepped myself to snap a photograph of our benefactor. But alas!

She used her donut witchcraft and recognized that I am none other but the mighty sagien. She protects herself from the phone of coolio-i-..ness.. The donut bounty was tremendous. Greatest donuts ever!

Special change of god-work Announcement

For the time being, the sun has disappeared bringing forth the powers of rain. But fear not, for your Sun God is blessed with many gifts. I, too, can control the precipitation.

temporary uhm raingod(tm) hat til i get a new one.

HELLO EVERYONE

YOU PEOPLE ARE A BUNCH OF BASTARDS

TODAY I AM OFFICIALLY BLACK

IM DRUNK

THAT THERE OVER THERE IS MY DRINKIN MUG. NEXT TO MY LAPTOP WHICH IM IN DEBT FOR.. CUZ BLACK PEOPLE DONT PAY FOR DEBTS. IT IS FULL OF WINE.

TODAY I REALIZED HOW IGNORANT I AM CUZ IM ASKING SHFT WHO THE eff IS EE CUMMINGS?!?!

AND HE'S ALL LIKE

"http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&ie=UTF-8&q=ee+cummings"

WELL SHIT KNEEGROW THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW IM ALL IGNORANT AND SHIT AND ADDING INSULT TO INJURY BY TELLING ME OF THE EXISTENCE OF GOOGLE. THANKS. BLACK PEOPLE ARENT SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT SHIT. KTHXPLZ.

AND DINO.. WAIT.. PIC OF DINO...

YEAH BITCH I GOT IT FROM YOUR MYSPACE THING, AND I DIDNT EVEN BOTHER MAKING IT BIGGER. BITCH.. ANYWAY.. DINO'S ALL LIKE 3/10 ON MY POST AND IM ALL 'SHIT' AND IM ALL LIKE. . WAIT MAYBE I SHOULD AHVE GUESTS ON HERE LIKE CONAN AND SHIT, AND BE LIKE BITCH IF ITS ALL 3/10 YOU WRITE SOMETHING... SHIIIIiiiiT

SO IM NOW TYPING IN CAPS TO BE UNIQUE.

OH.. SO THAT GIRL ON THE WEBCAM STARTED TO STRIP...

p.s. Im still asian, and no thats NOT me in the pic with dino(whose real name is DANA.. pansy.. btw happy bday)

Singles for Jesus H. Christ

First off, this is a tribute to nmg, who I assume will return and find the glory of this place once again

Well then

Yesterday, I went and worshipped God. It certainly was an interesting mass. They spoke Filipino. odd.. i felt bad for the black people that were there.. they probably didn't know what was going on.

In any event, after the service, was the Couples for Christ recruiting spiel, which, directed at me, was a Singles for Christ recruiting spiel as wall. Since I have some respect for a house of worship, I refrained from using the coolio phone that saves lives. But in order to tell this story, or any other story I've told.. why.. we need pictures. So I shall substitute.

This is a picture of the leader of the Couples for Christ. I wouldn't go as far as to call it a cult. Or an evil terrorist organization hell bent on ruling the world...
that would be unfair.

I also managed to get myself employed

If you wanna know where, and doing what, you'll hafta ask me. Cuz I'll never talk about my work here. Ever. Let's take a look back as to why...

That is Virginal Dude, also better known as VD. He took pictures and sent them to me for my uhm, review. Public review. Why, didn't I do it on this website? didn't that result into this?

I put on a tie so I can look better for when the bitch judge told me I wasn't entitled to unemployment. Cuz pointing out retards is against corporate law. Or some such retardedness.

So instead of black santa.. i ended up taking dumb pictures of people eating at buffets. Which, i had to eat at the buffet to acquire... so that makes me a dumb person eating at a buffet. Fucked up shit.

Anyhow, I do have the ability and resources to take a multitude of pictures to uhm publicly review. Ones that I will not get fired for or sued. They might come after me... but who in south jersey owns a computer..

Anyway. This is this post's parting gift.. taken a long time ago.. in a different lifetime.. when i was less mature..

Rising over the mountains of the East..

Perfection.. could it be?

could it?

The Golden Brown Sun God

And he shall wash on the shore, golden and shining and brown, to cleanse your sins, and for you to bow to.
--The Gospel of Sagien 3:23

The Chronicles of the Lost Months of the Prophet Sagien

For thirty days and thirty nights, the prophet shall endure the trials of the jobski. He shall stand guard at the heart of the installation which houses your needs at the shore. As the ocean of the Atlantic subdues the sands of the beaches of the Jersey of New, your Sun God shall be there to watch over you. And all shall sing and rejoice in the glory of his name.
--The Gospel of Sagien 2:12-15

In the span of a fortnight and a half, the sun god shall rejoin his brethren and basking in the source of His divine powers. He shall gain much weight, and his being shall endure the markings of the rays of the Sun. Only then will he be more godly. Only then will he reign in perfection, over the mountains of the East
--The Gospel of Sagien 4:15-16

On His return, there will be much scrabble and margaritas.
--The gospel of Sagien 6:22

All hail. Sagien hath returned. yeah.. uh you people know the drill, feed me comments, monday wednesday fridays. See ya, bitches.

Well

testes

testes