-=(Sagien)=-

I'm not Asian

Courtesy of the Coolio Phone Mark II: Pushing the Bar on Saving Lives

Holiday Season 2k4

Yes, the new coolio phone mark II. Courtesy of Xmas, from the merry-christmas-to-me department. This should help usher in a new era of phone pictures. And it is able to go where the Original Coolio Phone was never able to go to before.

aaannd... nmg comes through with the first shipment of slimjims. Very impressive. However, supplies are running low and the second expected shipment hasnt arrived yet.

which reminds me, nmg had this somewhat great idea. In lieu of multiple authorship on this blog recently occuring, and by multiple i meant two, and by two I meant one of us posted once, nmg suggested an essay writing contest just like in third grade. I pick the topic, and people write essays. I'll give you an example.

And by example, I meant, this is the segue to a story..

The topic of the English class essay was relatively simple. We were to write about what an alien from another planet would think or wonder about when they came to visit Earth. This essay was due in the next few days and we are to read it in front of class.

"Wonderful," sagien thought, "I have plenty of time for this."

Fast forward to lunch period, about twenty minutes before English class starts. Sagien is shoving a burger into his mouth as he handwrites the alien essay hurriedly before the bell rang. He continues to write through the bell after he finished his lunch and was still writing at his desk at English class just as everyone was settling into their seats.

In fact, he was still writing just as his name gets called for his turn to read his essay to the class. He stands up, skulks to the front of the class, and looks around at his classmates, unsure of something. He takes a deep breath then begins to read:

The alien ship was able to find a secluded landing spot with very little issues. It's pilot dons an adequate human disguise to fit in with the population and begins to wander through town. He noticed that it is night time in this world and the streets are barely lit with broken street lighting.

And why is that male sticking his genital into the wrong hole --

"That's enough, sagien," Mrs. Goins, the English teacher, said. "Give me your paper and sit down.. disgusting!" Sagien was later sent to the vice principal's office where his brain functions were questioned, unprofessionally, and told he was suspended for two days. After he came back, he was sent to a guidance counselor's office, where his brain functions where questioned, professionally. Also, deep probes were sent into the well-being of his life at home.

He later argues his first amendment rights to his parents, who in turn told him that, as a sophomore in high school and living under their roof, those rights didn't quite exist for him. For shame, we coulda been millionnaires.

Well then

I suppose an essay looks like that? I don't know, I haven't written one in years. Anyway, I think that's a pretty good example of the technique known as "story within a story." The essay sagien read in class wasn't quite the original essay, but its close enough and that whole thing is a true story. I have plenty of those. True stories.

Anyway, I don't know if people are even interested in authoring for this blog. I figure the way it will work is that if anyone is interested, they should let me know through email or AIM, if you know my screenname. I'll probably end up questioning you about certain things like morality and ethics and we shall see about setting you up with a text only account for you to write your essay with.

After that, we'll leave it up to the commenters(yeah those are those douchebags that tell me my post suck after i put it up) to decide whether you stay or not.

Why are you handing out authorships to your blog, oh Sage of the Golden Brown Sun?

I don't really know, but I kinda enjoyed it when mincus put a post up. It was quite refreshing erading something on my blog that I didn't write. I guess, I dunno. I don't really think people are interested in writing here anyway, but its worth a shot.

What will the first topic be?

Well, thats easy. "Earth, through the eyes of an alien"

Okay, let me know if people care.

Causality(a look back at the year the could've been)

The year is almost ending, and I don't think there will be anything else to "look back" on for 2k4 after this entry, so I think its safe to post it.

****GAYNESS WARNING**** Reading this could turn a male into a homosexual. Chix0rs will probably dig it.

First Quarter of the Fiscal Year 2k4

If anyone can remember correctly, this one started with a bang. Remember the alcohol vacation at the start of January? I drank practically every hour of the day, til i ran out of money. That was a great week.

Then I came back from vacation to find out I was fired for having this blog. Go figure. Yes, life changing moments there.

Second Quarter of the Fiscal Year 2k4

I drop out of college! Woo. Moved to Castle Splendor. woo! Also, my birthday happened. May 18th for those of you who want to take notes. LOOK AT ME!

Third Quarter of the Fiscal Year 2k4

Also known as summer.

First month was the job at the beach. Yeah, the one where I slept and did nothing and watched girls play volleyball. Sorry, no pics.

Second month happened to be the most memorable month of the year. In July, I left to revisit my homeland in South East Asia. I spent three weeks there and had alot of experiences that I cannot duplicate here. A blood vow to return was made on the Sacred Stone of the Philippines. Yes it exists.

Then I sat around with no job... up until right before the Fall of Castle Splendor.

Fourth Quarter of the Fiscal Year 2k4

Perhaps the most lucrative season of the year, several opportunities for employment presented themselves. This is the season that makes me not hate the whole year too much.

Also, this is when I started seeing kris. Kris makes alot of things better.

People reading my blog are thinking that I've gone weak since my Radio Shack firing, as mentioned on wombat's site. I tend to agree with this, and to a certain extent, I miss the way the old site was. However, ever since I started writing the way I have been lately, I've felt alot better and it helps get alot of my chest. It helps me realize a few things about the people I've been talking about on here.

I may not be taking pictures of fat or retarded looking people anymore, but that's fine. I'm using the blog as an outlet with an audience. And yes, I do appreciate all the feedback I get regardless of how I react to it.

I truly am not ashamed to say that this blog has been one of the best presents I have ever gotten and I do appreciate it.

In other news, did you know that vertical drop is a virgin?

10 Reasons .. Dino is a Prick (take 2)

Barring another bout of insecurities about my writing, this attempt should be a successful one. Bear with me.

Oh wow, the night's not over yet.

After the not-so-fun dinner at Famous Dave's(FD as Dino so eloquently put), we left, heading for home. My home.

On the drive home, I get a call from nmg, informing me that he's in town yadda yadda yadda, what do you wanna do?

"I dunno," I said, "Did you call Dino?"

"Yeah he said we can come over his house."

"Alright, I'll swing by to get you."

So... a few minutes later I have nmg added to my list of passengers and I am happily on my way to Dino's house. Which brings us to reason number one.

Reason Number One

Way to live in the boonies.

Anyway, I'm going to go ahead and jump to reason number two.

Reason Number Two

Nmg calls Dino to let him know we're on our way. Dino informs nmg that he isn't at his domecile at the moment. He is, in fact at his brother's house, but he'll be home shortly, so kindly wait for him.

Way to invite people over to your house while you're not home.

Reason Number Three

So here we are, parked in front of his house. Waiting. FOr a goodly amount of time. Moments later, nmg's phone blows up. By blow up, i mean it rings. It's Dino kindly informing us that he has to go to East GYbypt and back and if we could entertain ourselves for awhile.

This is where I should've heeded nmg's advice and procured egged prior to our visit.

Instead of using the parking lot for entertainment, however, we decide to go wait at Borders(tm). I would like to point out that I only know of one way from Dino's Palace of Discontemporaneousness(thanks Kozemp) to Borders(tm). Yes, this also equates to me knowing the same way back, and no other way. This piece of information will be important later on, if Dino chooses to defend himself.

Reason Number Four

And here we are at Borders(tm). I take this opportunity to purchase a few items for presents and Wil Wheaton's book for myself. Screw you, I know none of you are getting me it for Christmas. No, I hate asking for shit other than slimjims -- which is a VERY real request.

As I survey the aisles for items that I might purchase, nmg finds me and tells me that Dino is at SomeBarThatHeThoughtWe'dBeAt(tm) and was wondering why we weren't there. That isn't reason number four by the way.

He asks as if we can come over NOW(reason number four). After verifying that he is going to be there, we agree to driving back(the ONE way I know how) to his pad.

Have I mentioned before that I work two jobs and that one of them start at 330am?

I realize that the decision to make it to Dino's house was mine to make and I could've said no. However, I am not like most people who'd say I'd be someplace but never make it there, and I already agreed to hang out with Dino for the evening, even if it was just for an hour.

I actually have only four reasons, but 10 sounded more dramatic. We all know how I love drama. Also, because of yesterday's tirade, I did forget what happened on Saturday and, subsequently, Sunday as well. If someone could tell me what happened, perhaps you can hijack the site too and tell people about it.

I really shouldn't whine about things that end up like this. In fact, I should be quite used to how people schedule time to hang out with each other. Perhaps some more math to solve the enigma on how we lose so much time waiting on people to show up or get ready is in order?

10 Reasons why Dino is a Prick

I actually thought of that title yesterday, but this morning, I can't remember what it was. Then I went to take a leak and my brain was all like.. ooohh yeahhh..

So now I can write this entry, that I'm sure some of you will think is gay.

You know what, fuck this entry.

All some people care about is if I attack someone, make someone feel small, so we can all have a laugh at them, regardless of whether we were friends with that person or not. All while you fuckin sit on the sidelines, where its safe.

The last time I checked, this is still my website, and I can still write whatever I want. If its so fuckin gay, don't read it. Let's figure this one out real fast.

Sagien takes picture of fat lardness leaning on a sign post. Sagien posts picture of fat lardness with caption "Northfield, NJ erects worlds strongest sign posts." Sagien = cool.

Sagien calls mincus bitchass pussy. Sagien = somewhat cool, yet reminded that his website is being hosted for free. Completely understandable causaility.

Sagien calls wombat a douchebag. Sagien becomes GOY '04.

Sagien creates a somewhat detailed account of an evening. Aforementioned detailed account was a planned four-parter. Sagien = gay. Voter turnout on the gay vote: 1. Bring back mincus. Sagien cancels parts 2-4 of aforementioned detailed account.

So let's generate a winning formula from this analysis of the past week's "reaction" to my blog updates.

This will take awhile. Sec, i getting some scratch paper.

Fat + "witty caption" + "mincus is a bitchass pussy" - "mincus is a bitchass pussy" + "wombat is a douchbag" + "wombat is a douchbag" + "wombat is a douchbag" - exgirlfriend - "detailed accounts" = win.

That sounds about right.

How to Stop Time, and Other Tricks of the Temporal Trade

I don't know if it's just December or whether I'm actually getting really busy all the time, but this weekend was full of all sorts of stories.

Now, I'd like to tell those stories, if I can remember any of them..

Are those paper towels our napkins?

So kris and i went straight to famous dave's(tm) right after i got done with work. The second work. Yeah, the real one. Anyway, we walk in and she looks around to take the place in. She comments about the atmostphese being quite southerly and how we didn't fit in. Oh well, I wanted to eat some pig.

Normally I'd have pictures for this next part, however, the coolio phone is non-functional right now due to the changing over to different plan scenario I'm in the middle of. It is unfortunate, I know.

Anyway, as we sit there on the bench waiting for our table, making idle chit chat and what have you, these people walked in.

"Oh god, I figured we'd see some trash tonight, but I didn't think it'd be this bad"

As I turned to see what she was referring to, the room got a little bit dimmer. My next reaction rivaled that of the reaction the actors had at Jurassic Park(tm) when they saw the giant Brontosaurus(i think i read somewhere that these didn't really exist). Except I saw three of them. They asked to sit at the bar.

"I hope their barstools are made of some kinda carbon-fiber composite," i whispered to kris. She giggles. That's right, I can make girls giggle. Even though I wouldn't really consider what she does "giggling".

So, we wait and eventually our table was ready. They sat us behind the ancient beasts, to my horror. Fortunately, they were using space-aged bamboo for the barstools to be able to support their weight. As I sat down on the chair, i had a sudden flashback...

...[insert squigly lines here]...

It's hot here. I'm in Arkansas. These people have never seen an Asian before in their lives.. except probably the older ones, in the jungles of Vietnam. In which case, they hate me.. I should tell them about the time I built tiger traps...

snap back to reality

I can tell from the look on Kris' face that she wasn't really enjoying this. The copious amounts of fingerfoods on the menu is enough to make her wrinkle her nose. Let's not even get into how most of them were made of pig..

Now, I personally like places like this for the most part. I enjoy consuming pork doused in brownish questionable sauce. I don't even mind using my hands. Meanwhile, Kris is cutting chicken tenders with a knife and fork. However, between the creaking of barstools to my left, the bitchy waitress who probably couldn't read on a fourth grade level and the sudden realization that these people probably voted for Bush, I decided that I don't like Famous Dave's(tm).

"Oh good, I was gonna ask her for napkins but then I realized that those paper towels on a pipe screwed into the wall are what we'll be using"

So who's picking the place to eat next time?

Abandonment Issues

What I propose to get into next shouldn't be constituted as an attack. Instead, we should look at it as more like a sporting event, like Disney on Ice(tm) or something.

Our dear friend wombat has alot of trouble keeping people interested in keeping him company. This happens for a variety of reasons, none of which are his fault. I propose to you a betting mechanism based on who will abandon wombat next. The chances for winning are actually quite good, considering there arent many left. I also know that alot of you are still friends with him, however most of you who are are longshots and have been eliminated from the list. Like shft, for example. You live a bazillion miles away and that kinda negates you as someone who would abandon him since you already have. You are nothing more than a bi-weekly presence, which is really cool of you to come and hang out, but it really isnt enough time to drink in the essence* of wombat. The same reasoning goes for mincus. And he's around even less.

I'd throw kudra into the mix, but wombat will not hang out with joe camel, and without joe, kudra isn't whole therefore eliminating her from the list.

There's those people in California. Yeah you stopped counting the moment you travelled back to the past.

I'm sorry animplodingvoice was probably a good thing to put in, cept i heard some shit.

Uh.. that leaves uh.. fuck. Forget this. It's, like, down to two people. Fuck it. Perhaps we shall pick this up when wombat gets some more friends.

Nice plan nmg. Look how it bombed?

Ahem

The story above is just friday, and not even all of friday. I realized as I was writing it that it was getting long. I'll continue with it in the next couple of days.

..to be continued...

*not his fault

Pardon Me...

... For the intrusion, I hope you dont mind. But its not what you are thinking.

I know you are all expecting fireworks, but I have snuck into this blog to the reason of spreading joy. Playing Santa is my only goal here, I hope you enjoy.

I know what you are saying, why use sagiens blog, why not use wombats, he doesn’t hate you. Well, wombat’s blog gets 3 hits a year, so there wouldn’t be much point to that now. Also ever since he hooked up with that new girl, I never see him anymore. What a dick.

I have decided that since no one buys anyone presents anymore, I would do the same. But I couldn’t help but to find things that would be perfect for everyone and collecting links to them all year long. I hope you agree that I have found the perfect gift for you.

Merry Xmas everyone.

Ashbiter -
http://www.toothbrushexpress.com/
http://www.gameskins.com/item--Master-of-Unlocking-Tee--gssh049

Blackjax -
http://www.thinkgeek.com/pennyarcade/swag/6fc1/

Clarus -
http://www.toymagnets.com/specials/frigits.cfm?source=google&kwid=frigits

Kudra -
http://www.exlibrisanonymous.com/index.php

Joe -
http://www.redvsblue.com/estore_dvds.shtml

LittleEarthquakes -
http://www.iusedtobelieve.com/

Sagien -
http://mgrsti5395q.seamlesstech.biz/Merchant/2004_images/blt_candles_vsm.jpg
http://mgrsti5395q.seamlesstech.biz/Merchant/2005TGP/Bacon%20pages/baconstyles.html

Shft -
http://www.bbsdocumentary.com/order/

Wombat -
http://www.priadiagnostics.com/Index.html
http://store.yahoo.com/homestarrunner/dvddvddvd.html

p.s. sagien feel free to take this down if I have overstepped my admin bounds. I thought it would be in good fun though.

They blew up Cardassia..

As much as it was fun for everyone to see a friendship disintegrate into an arguement that has no winner, I refuse to respond to anymore comments from mincus or anyone.

If you think you're in the right, talk to me on aim or whatever medium you wish and tell me why. And if you're interested, I'll tell you why I harbor certain views about you.

Now, for what I really intended to do with this webspace for today..

The *NEW* Day in the life of Sagien

The sun isn't even up yet, it won't be for another three hours. My snooze function has been thoroughly abused for the last half hour and it's won the battle. I am awake, unwilling, but awake.

I slowly grope around for my clothes, I know they're somewhere here. It's dark, but I don't want to wake her up. Nevermind the fact that my alarm probably kept her awake for the last half hour or so.

After gathering my belongings, I do another once over to make sure that I have everything. Checking the time, I see that I am running late. Again. Oh well, it doesn't matter that much for this job what time I show up, its what time I get done that counts.

I kiss her goodbye, down the stairs as quietly as I can and out the door. The door needs to be shut without making a sound. A click somehow wakes the dog up and it ends up barking forever.

I hop in the car. It's a shame that the turbo-van is no more. This one needs to be warmed up and it takes forever to accomplish that. Well, not really.. I just hate sitting here in the cold.

The job itself is routine blur. It's over and done with before I know it. I get home for a second round of slumber, at a different location.

Two hours later the alarm is going off again. This time it gets abused for a whole hour. It is very disorienting waking up twice from deep sleep in two different places less than 3 hours apart. I am slowly getting used to it, but that odd feeling of not knowing exactly where you during that miniscule moment between being asleep and being awake is still there.

Shower. Shave. Change. Drive to work. Do work things. Get done work.

I enjoy the time I spend with her the most. That time is only usually 4 hours of waking time a day or less. What do we normally do? Well, we sit there. As we sit there we revel in our(mostly mine) indecisiveness over where and what to eat. Lots of driving is involved too. From her place to my parent's place to some stores, a place to eat, and back to her place again. Sometimes this time is populated by other people, friends, sometimes its just the two of us. But this is my most favorite time of the day. Yes, more than sleeping.

After all that I go back to sleep. And the cycle repeats itself.

Oh yes. Theres 8 days till Christmas. My updated wish list:

1) Slimjims. Please! If anything, make this one come true.

2) I don't really want a robosapien.

3) I don't really want wombat to live.

4) Yes, manclothes.

5) the turbo van back.

6) mincus and afinity to break up so i can have my friend back.

That is all.

Apologies

I'm sorry I'm acting like an ass and ripping on people who have once been my friends. They don't deserve to be ridiculed.

I am very apologetic.

The Mystery of the Where the Fuck I Am When I Wake Up: A Hardy Boys Adventure

As most of you know, I have two bedtimes. The first one is around 10pm and the second one I try to make it around 6am. This is because I am employed by two different companies. Lately, I have noticed that the determining factor on which job I'm going to has been whether I notice the sun up or not. When I am asleep, I am practically oblivious as to where I am(I sleep at two different places too), and when I wake up, I am mostly clueless as to what time of day it is or which place of employment is expecting me.

It's okay though. Where I wake up and the presence of the sun(or lack thereof) are good enough indicators to dictate the rest of my day.

As for the Hardy Boys, I totally read all of them. And guess one, Joe Hardy's girlfriend DIES. In the first casefiles book. Very traumatic.

About as traumatic as when Gauron got slain by Worf in the 4th season of DS 9. Or when the Defiant gets destroyed in the 6th or 7th season by the Dominion. Or that the founders are dying cuz section 6(the Federation's version of our CIA) implanted Odo with a disease which he transmitted to the founders when he joined with them again. Oh yeah dax died and got replaced by a much cuter host. She started screwing Bashir instead of Worf. Sisko becomes captain in the 4th season.

Anyway. ..

Spoiler Warning!

Wait.. okay, I'm sorry. That was a total inside joke. I wont explain it either. If you don't have me blocked, you can IM me. I'll do my best to get you to laugh about it. All that matters is that people who hasnt seen seasons 3.5-7 of Star Trek: Deep Space 9 now know that Cardassia joined the Dominion in season 4 and are now in revolt in season 7 and that Gul Dukat is this badass rogue captain who is somewhat in rebellion against the Dominion/Cardassian merger and is commanding a captured Klingon Bird of Prey. Cool.

I'm sorry.

Also, Anna Kournikova is married.

Dino: eh, she's not that great anyway
sagien: if she asked you to, you would
Dino: to what? marry her?
sagien: no
sagien: sex0r
Dino: eh, not really

I definately call bullshit.

Please Keep the Door Closed

We have cats now.

I have noticed something about myself that has remained essentially true for as long as I have been alive. I am a good friend to people, for as long as I stay friends with them. I am quite forgiving with my friends.. as long as they are my friends. Such is not the case when I decide that I no longer need to be associated with someone. Which will bring us to the first factual statement of the day.

FACT #1: The Friend Writeoff Game is FOR LIFE

People should stop wondering whether or not I will hang out with someone again. The answer is that I wont. In fact, I am probably devising ways that would crush their feelings in one fell swoop to the point that they too will validate my non-friendship with them. But only when they don't expect it. Well enough of that subject.

FACT #2: I most def need pictures up in here.

Why did shftleft cross the street?

I blame the atrocious nature of this shot on Kudra. I was totally ready to snap it when she started driving erotically -- which moved my arm. I am lucky to have this picture of .. well the gender of the subject is debatable. I personally think its asexual. shft said it was a gurl. I think he liked her too.

FACT #3: Those are all the pictures I have right now.

And my captioning sucked too. I acknowledge the fact that I am out of practice. I don't know if I'll ever be back to form from my days of caption writing glory. I've been reading a bunch of my old stuff lately, and man that shit is hilarious. It is amazing that I can make myself laugh my ass off. Very well then.

FACT #4: Wombat is a douchebag

FACT #5: I am a good friend.

It shall be proven right now. Instead of whoring myself out for ego points, I shall save the last part of this post(the most memorable part of it, according to speechwriters) for my good friend Joe Camel of the Joe Camel Project fame. He is in dire need of your help. Please email him and tell him you want to help. He shall email you back and inform you of what you can do. Viva la revolution!

Blinding, searing pain

Hello again, from my life.

It has dawned on me that this space is becoming more "bloglike" in nature. What I mean by that is that I seem to be talking more about myself rather than focusing on what made this blog successful in its height of popularity. Well, nobody really cares about that. I certainly don't.

Let's get down to business, shall we?

Blinding, searing pain

I think my body is falling apart. There are several things wrong with it that instead of just going through them one at a time, I'll have to place them in list form in order to comprehensively cover each malfunction.

1) Blinding, searing pain to the mouth. Otherwise known as a toothache. ALot of my brain cells are in concensus on one thing other than the fact that it hurts like hell: the dumbass bit into something and broke a filling. It smarts quite a bit, to the point that one day, I actually came close to passing out from it. Solution? 12 excedrin tablets. which brings us to the next malfunction.

2) Taking too much excedrin makes one paranoid that maybe you're overdosing on excedrin. This paranoia brings up heart rates etc etc when you realize that you've taken 4 more than whats recommended for a 12 hour period and 6 of those pills were ingested within the last 2 hours. Paranoia is a minor thing, though, compared to what REALLY caused the paranoia..

3) Chronic sleep deprivation. Well, thats really an exagerration. I actually get plenty of sleep, I just thought I'd throw that in there... well.. its weird sleep, but its sleep and you take it how you can get it.

4) My arm hurts. Some of you might say its because of the job that involves storm doors and newspapers, one being a projectile and the other a target. However, this would be an incorrect assumption. I shall explain with a story.

Subplot #1

...sagien has always been jealous of the other cars in the express lane. they get to go through the tolls much quicker than he can because of a silly white box that he keeps forgetting to acquire. not today, he thought. today, i will be just as fast as the other cars. he developed a plan.. a plan to somehow get the coins needed for the toll in a manner which would require minimun deceleration of the vehicle.

...the plan involves a quick hand, and good hand eye coordination. timed just right, he would only have to decelerate by about five to ten miles in order to accurately get the coins in there. ..

...so now the moment of truth.. decelerate .. forty miles per hour... straight line towards an empty toll booth.. coins at the ready.. BAM.. theyre in.. cept for the fact that his hand gets caught in the basket and bangs that and his bicep gets banged on the back window edge of the car. it stings a bit, but everything seems to be okay and he sped through the tollbooth just like the other cars did..

til the next morning.. when it hurt like burning.

Back to the list

5)the whooping cough. I cannot stop coughing. I am now consigned to the fact that this will probably lead to my death. Which brings us to list number two.

People I don't want at my funeral

well, thats a joke. I want all of you to come. Bring flowers.

December is teh cool

Well then, hi.

A few things more I'd like to go over with you guys. Plus a few explanations here and there.

My Christmas Wishlist

Well, I know you have to be expecting this, right? I am doing this because of repeated complaints about how I'm "such a hard person to shop for." In other words, quit whining I'm doing your job for you.

1) A box of slim jims. The nacho cheese flavor kind. The more the merrier.

2) Robosapien .. yeah I know it'll gather dust and I'll only find it cool for the first day I got it, but look on the bright side, you just spent $80. Neat huh?

3) Wombat to continue living. A relatively easy one to accomplish.

4) Something that will make it so the radio in the van won't change the volume without my knowledge and on the fly. That would be wonderful.

5) manclothes.

6) one steak dinner.

Reading back on these six items, I think it is generally apparent that I don't know what I want. Surprises are cool too. If I hate it, I'll smile politely and tell you how great it is and how I've always wanted one.

The Distinct Lack of Pictures: An Essay

Some would argue, correctly, that pictures were what made this blog. Some would even take it further by saying that the act of making fun of people as they walked into the retail establishment where I was employed by taking their pictures was my biggest selling point. Surely, there are ways to accomplish the same amount of success that ISSF has enjoyed without the need to constantly degrade human existence.

While it is funny to depict the dregs of humanity in photographic format coupled with an anecdotal caption, several BAD things can come from this approach of gaining readership. The most obvious being getting terminated(Fired) from your current employe and getting threatened with a lawsuit or actually be served with a lawsuit. All of which, I'm quite sure, wouldn't be funny or worth any amount of readers I ensnare.

What I propose is a more intelligent approach to things. By things, I mean, do not degrade people I know(they can sue me), but instead, target the ones that will not sue me. For example, my friends or the ones that I could give a crap about and will only refer to as DOUCHEBAG.

This approach will be quite a challence because I would have to "hang out" with said individual(s) in order to obtain a photographic record of their existence. Is this a sacrifice I am willing to take for my readers? Only time will tell.

I shall continue to post as I have been posting, but perhaps with more photos. Well, definately with more photos. I just have to get off my ass and take them.

Toodles.

Is it next month already?

Damn.

well.. here goes nothing...

Ok, I'm a giant pussy. I pussied out. I'm not gonna do it.

Sorry.

Not gonna do what?

Dude, nothing, shut up

You mean you built us all up for nothing?

Well, he does host the site.. certain circles think it might not be a good idea..

Who cares about the site?! You don't post anyway.

Yeah i do

Yeah when you want some attention. I know you sit there refreshing the damn thing for comments. What the fuck is wrong with you?

man, just drop it...

Yeah, youre a giant pussy.

Fuck off.

What's wrong, sagien? no friends? keep refreshing it over and over?

I have lots of friends...

Yeah from teh online

i have real friends... like shft...

...

...

Pussy.

Douchebag.