-=(Sagien)=-

Ebola is quite real

To Wombat: Ebola is quite real. Not "some fake monkey disease" that I made up to get one point in Scattegories.

Also, the Philippines is located in Asia, not just a few clicks south of Florida.

Furthermore, FedEx does not cost alot of money.

Painful Monkey Disease

Ebola Hemorrhagic Fever: Fact Sheet

WebMD Public Information from the CDC Reviewed By Charlotte Grayson, MD

What is Ebola hemorrhagic fever?

Ebola hemorrhagic fever (Ebola HF) is a severe, often-fatal disease in humans and nonhuman primates (monkeys and chimpanzees) that has appeared sporadically since its initial recognition in 1976.

Quite real. And I have it.

After I rapidly consumed several bottles of months old beer, nmg showed up at the Rice Pad to rescue me from my lonesome boredom. At that point, I was quite intoxicated and was more than happy to comply.

The evening went normally enough. We played a few games of pool at Dino's and ordered some pizza. After nmg decided to leave, I decided to christen Dino's toilet with some ABM(Asian Bowel Movement). He made me wash my hands.

It was during the game of Scattegories when it hit: like a giant spike getting jackhammered through my skull, the headache hit. Some would argue that it was because I "sobered up while awake." I, however, am of the inclination that it was the Ebola finally reaching my brain. An odd path for the disease to take, surely, because normally(and I looked this up), it will eat the other organs of the body first. It consumes its victims alive from the inside.

I pilfered a couple of Dino's Advils to help with the pain. It didn't help.

Wombat ended up taking me home.

When I got home, the surest manifestation of the disease made itself known.

I started vomiting. Out came the bacon cheese burger pizza, along with some of the Buffalo Chicken Kickers I consumed. Then came some of my internal organs. I believe I saw some of my pancreas come out, along with some blood. I hurled until there was nothing left to hurl. And then the dry heaves occured. Painful, tear jerking dry heaves.

And then I passed out.

I woke up about half an hour later, and went on my paper route. Everything went fine then.

I came home, and hacked up the rest of my lungs.

Ebola sucks. Soon I'll be dead. It leaves the liver for last, you know. Keeps the victims alive and aware for as long as possible. This is going to be the worst last three days of my life.

But if its any consolation:

Back to basics ISSF, coming right at you.

This lady sat down on some dual-reinforced steel barstool at the bar. It buckled slightly under the stress, but held. I contemplated buying her a drink, what with Ebola, getting laid one last time might've been a good thing. But she's so large, she'd never fit on my bed, plus I don't have enough flour to roll her around in to find the wet spot.

Hey.. if I'm nauseous and vomiting, I thought my readers should share my plight as well.

The Coolio Phone [THAT SAVES LIVES] Mark II

It has earned the name. Finally.

Arson

I was out this morning on my paper route. Throwing papers in a rhythmic fashion, completely routine.

As I make one of my routine turns, the unmistakeable flash of police car lights come on in front of me.

I cautiously approach.

I inform the officer that I am making newspaper deliveries. He told me that there's an arson down the road, but I'm allowed to make my deliveries before I reach the point of where the fire is(which was still ongoing).

After delivering about 100 papers, I the location of the fire became more obvious:

The opening picture is the closeup of those lights. The coolio phone saved many lives.

How, you ask?

Well that's a question I can't answer. But as the smell of burning white trash permeate the air and started to assault my nostrils, I realized that there was no way I'd be able to go through the obstruction that some dumbass created by setting their home aflame.

I had to go all the way around and managed to take another crappy picture from a different angle:

The detour cost me 5 minutes of extra travel time. It cost 406 Steelmanville Rd his morning paper.

Disagreeable

SCT05 is in full swing, wouldn't you think?

Sorry. No pics.

But There's Plenty of Words!

This is an essay I wrote for a writing class a couple of years ago. It comes to you completely uneditted in Im-too-lazy-to-make-a-new-post fashion. It is not funny, but I feel that it is a good read. The subject matter will be quite apparent as you read it. I was a fuckin genius, let me tell you. I should ask Past Sagien for advice more often...

The Balance of Love

The struggle for happiness within a relationship can be compared to the epic struggle between good and evil. People have strived to find a happy medium, and most has settled on what is comfortable, having failed to have found the happiness that they want. I have tried relationships where I held the superior brain, or so I thought. There have also been relationships where the other is vastly more intelligent that I am. My most recent engagement involved a person whom I consider of equal intelligence as I. In all of these cases, there has always been a power struggle, regardless of the balance of intelligence between me and my partners. While it is true that couples of equal intelligence will have more of a chance to find things in common and, therefore, have more of a chance to find happiness based on the activities that they both love to do, I have come to the conclusion that the intelligence of your partner plays a minor part in the overall happiness of a relationship. The balance of love does not stem from the balance of intelligence of the individuals in a partnership but from the balance of their egos and personalities and the chemistry that they create.
Women are smarter than men in a lot of ways. There has been more geniuses for being human among women than there have among men. Women have a good grasp of science and the abstract. They also have a better capacity for common sense than most men do. Women are better equipped to be nurturing in a relationship than men are. Women love the human race; men are, on the whole, hostile to it. The maturity level of women can also be somewhat more developed than men's. They will have more of a tendency to base the success of their relationships not on physical attraction, but on the mental and emotional viability of their partners.
Men are not without their own shows of intelligence, however. Men have a better sense of purpose, the origins of which came from the dawn of mankind itself. They are mostly hunter-gatherers, responsible for feeding their families and keeping everyone in the tribe physically fit. While this is hardly a show of intelligence, but rather a product of millions of years of evolution, it still demonstrates the men’s better capacity to exist in a working environment. In regards to maintaining a relationship, most women will inherently want a man who can provide.
A balanced availability of intelligence can bring happiness to a relationship by providing a good platform for a stable partnership. Intelligent people are well equipped to handle the rigors of daily life. While it doesn't take rocket science to schedules one's life to fit the schedule of a loved one for quality time together, it takes a certain degree of intelligence and maturity in both individuals to understand that it is unhealthy to spend all their available time on their partner and to neglect their respective obligations to their own individual lives. A good balance of intelligence in a relationship can also bring a good amount of commonality into it. Couples with more things in common tend to be happier than those that have little to share with each other. However, commonality or a good debate that stemmed from the smarts and wit of two individuals can only go so far in a relationship. Couples will, by default, find common ground to establish a platform on which to grow their relationship. Common ground can be a powerful thing in developing a happy relationship. But, with intelligence also comes ego.
In the long run, it wouldn't matter if the individuals that make up a partnership or a marriage are of the same level of intelligence or if they are poles apart. Man and woman have something in common in their egos. Everyone will like to think that they are smarter in some respects than their partner and vice versa. This forms the power struggle that I was speaking of earlier. Further along in a relationship, there will come a time when an important decision has to be made. It is up to the personalities of the respective individuals in the relationship on who will decide this point of contention. This can be any decision made. A relationship always develops a controlling half and a submissive half. This has been true in every single relationship I have been in. Someone will be the decision maker for the partnership. It can be said that a lot of couples strive for a more democratic decision making structure in a relationship, but this is merely a power struggle between two people with an equal amount of ego – one where one mind cannot completely dominate the other. Happiness is attained when both parties are comfortable with their role the relationship. Chaos can ensue if the decision making party makes the wrong choice.
While intelligence can play a big role in the establishment of happiness in a marriage, it is not the only factor to insure its success. The balance of ego must be met, regardless of the intelligence level of the individuals participating in a relationship. While I am more in agreement that individuals of equal intelligence tend to be happier with one another and that intelligence will always seek out intelligence, the relationships that I have experienced tend to dictate that being happy in a relationship doesn’t rely mainly on the intelligence levels of the people in it. I've found myself happy with individuals of lesser or greater intelligence as I, as well as those who share the same IQ level as I do. Clearly, the levels of intelligence with my past partners had nothing to do with me being happy because I managed to maintain long lasting relationships with all of them, regardless of their intelligence level. This is due to the fact that a balance of ego was achieved in the relationship. There have been instances when I was more than happy to do what I was told because the decision making party made sense. The same is true of the opposite. I am very well capable of making good decisions and my partner would be more than happy to participate in my decisions. These relationships failed because the balance of power has been upset, not because there was a massive intelligence shift between me and my partner.
Happiness does not stem from the contrast of intelligence between two individuals but on the agreement of their respective personalities. It is what one finds beautiful, physically and emotionally, in another person that brings out feelings of euphoria and bliss. One does not have to be of the same mental capacity as their partner to be happy with them. As long as they trust that their personalities can coexist, then both of them will be happy.

A Word from our Sponsors:

I know it's a bit cheesey, and the whole "You don't have to worry about who's smarter" bit kinda gets hammered into your skull again and again, but that's what the professor wanted to see.

Let me know what you think. I already think it's a stroke of genius, but wtf do I know..

The Sagien Comeback Tour

Welcome to the Sagien Comeback Tour '05.

It's time we got back to the blog that nothing good ever came out of. Make matters worse.

Sippin on Coke and Rum

This was all going to wait until I found the missing camera cable, considering there's quite a bit of illicit photographs in that camera, but I got impatient.

So, what has the Sun God been up to lately?

Well, despite the above photograph, he's been avoiding the sun vehemently.

Collecting empty Coke cans and Camel Cash like nobody's business, that kinda thing.

Oh, and getting laid off.

And considering the facts of life.

It all basically came down to this:

SCT05 must happen.

So hello. This is me. I am back.