-=(Sagien)=-

It was a dark and stormy night

This is my first ever music review. Psst.. cool mouseover thing on the picture...

I was at the Riddles show which featured Theodore Grimm, Linus Lowery, Exit Only and some other band.

*[UPDATED]* Read on.

Linus Lowery was awesome.

That's all I have to say on that. Let's move on.

Theodore Grimm are a bunch of fuckin douchebags.

If you read myspace, Linus Lowery was very cordial when it came to acknowledging the other bands that were present at the show.

I don't have to be as accomodating.

Theodore Grimm is what I would consider, and I don't know much about music genres, mind you, an emo band. I don't even have to hear their music to come to this conclusion.

Immediately, they took on the persona of grown men who like to wear girl pants. These are the kind of people who are most likely to cry about some chick who left them when they were sixteen and then cry about it some more when they wake up.

That's the lead singer. He likes to sing sideways. He also likes Burger King. How do I know this? Because he sang with his "good" side facing the "audience" the whole time. He also declared right before their set started that he "likes Burger King" as he took a sip out of the Burger King cup. He declared it in such a way that one would have to think hmm.. this guy would like you to note his subtle intricacies and look how cute.

Given the chance, I'm sure he'd like to let you know what he had as a snack around two in the afternoon on Thursday.

If I were an attention seeking whore band, I'd totally pick this guy as a lead singer. Why? Because he'd probably want to suck my dick.

IT'S HIS BIRTHDAY!! We all know this because the lead singer pointed it out about fifteen times during their set.

Guess what? Only about five people who were present gave a fuck.

Speaking of people who were present, the "fans" of Theodore Grimm can kiss my fucking ass.

Don't have a conversation with your crowd. There's plenty of time for that during the cocksucking session that you no doubtedly will have in your stupid fuckin van that you couldn't get two dollars for at a car auction.

My god I hate emo kids. What with their hair and look at me attitude.

Oh yes.

These assholes left about halfway through Linus Lowery's set too. Because they're that good. Bunch of fuckin bitches, I swear to god.

Let's leave this band review on a good note.

Theodore Grimm's music sucked. It sucked like every single band member sucked many a penis in their lifetimes.

Being gay is not a flaw... unless you're Theodore Grimm.

The Expected Backlash has begun

Time to check out some "ballsy" comments some people made.

its funny that while you didn't listen to our music or say any of this to our faces...you can still make up all sorts of shit.

I did listen to your music. I wasn't impressed. I also went home and listened to your music again when I got home. I still wasn't impressed.

Is it any wonder that you guys didn't really bring in any sort of crowd to the Riddles show? The music is not good. It's a lot of yelling. Ear piercing, ear drum hurting yelling. Again. The music is NOT good.

Also, has anyone who "reviewed" you ever told you to your faces that you suck? Would you say to ANYONE's face that they suck? I think not. I mean, really, you left before any of the other bands played, so don't tell me I didn't listen to you because I did.

Your entire band is based on your stupid(READ: gay) image. You're not going to make it just on your "unique" sound alone. Sorry, that you disapprove of my dislike for your music.

were the multipule insults of gay because in the back of your mind you are secretly questioning your very own sexuality and were hoping in fact that one of the members of theodore grimm were in fact gay and would have a relationship with you helping you discover if you really are or are not gay? possibly.

No, I'm straight. I no not pine for penises or non-platonic male bonding. Next question?

u should work on your writing instead of talking shit about a bunch of people u don't even know

You make an interesting point. I should work on my writing.

I should stop making sweeping generalizations about people who PUT THEMSELVES IN THE PUBLIC EYE TO BE SCRUTINIZED.

Let me make my own interesting point.

Yesterday, when you entered the words "Theodore Grimm" in the google search bar and clicked the search button, iseeseveralflaws was not on the front page of the search results.

Today it is. Google must've crawled my site last night. Now comes the interesting point.

How come, with all the publicity that you put your band through, I still showed up on that front page?

Is it because that iseeseveralflaws.com is actually a heavily trafficked site? It could be.

You're right. You are a bunch of people that I don't know. You're a bunch of people that nobody who matters know. You should be thanking me, because this is the most visible your band will ever be.

Go post another myspace bulletin. It seems to be the only way you can effectively get the word out.

Fags.

Near Death

At 6:20 o'clock in the morning of 22 April 1980, the M/T "Tacloban City," a barge-type oil tanker of Philippine registry, with a gross tonnage of 1,241,68 tons, owned by the Philippine National Oil Company (PNOC) and operated by the PNOC Shipping and Transport Corporation (PNOC Shipping), having unloaded its cargo of petroleum products, left Amlan, Negros Occidental, and headed towards Bataan. At about 1:00 o'clock in the afternoon of that same day, the M/V "Don Juan," an interisland vessel, also of Philippine registry, of 2,391.31 tons gross weight, owned and operated by the Negros Navigation Co., Inc. (Negros Navigation) left Manila bound for Bacolod with seven hundred fifty (750) passengers listed in its manifest, and a complete set of officers and crew members.

On the evening of that same day, 22 April 1980, at about 10:30 o'clock, the "Tacloban City" and the "Don Juan" collided at the Talbas Strait near Maestra de Ocampo Island in the vicinity of the island of Mindoro. When the collision occurred, the sea was calm, the weather fair and visibility good. As a result of this collision, the M/V "Don Juan" sank and hundreds of its passengers perished. Among the ill-fated passengers were the parents of petitioners, the spouses Perfecto Mecenas and Sofia Mecenas, whose bodies were never found despite intensive search by petitioners.

The sinking of MV Don Juan

Redeeming this savage jungle scene at the sea were some acts of heroism and humanitarianism. A priest was last seen helping small children pass through a porthole. A couple of nuns in brown habits were last seen distributing life jackets. A crew member was doing the same. His lifeless body was later identified by one of his benefactors. Some passengers returned to their cabins for their trapped relatives and were never seen again.

As the ship began to sink, people jumped into the cold sea-some with life belts, some without. Some hit those ahead of them perhaps drowning the latter. Those who hesitated to jump were pushed out to the sea by those behind.

A Catholic priest, Fr. Deotao seeing many dying around conducted a general absorption before jumping into the sea. Luckily, he survived. The ship listed from side to side like toys pinning some passengers, perhaps-to death.

Some without live belts waited until water breast deep and clung to floating objects around. One survivor, not the ship captain, claimed to be the last man to abandon the sinking ship. According to him, he climbed the highest portion of the vessel and waited until the water was knee deep and seeing a floating plank, he jumped onto it. Another man, after jumping into the sea, was sucked deep but an unknown force pushed him back to the surfaced of the sea.

The sea scene

After the sea sunk, people scattered around the sea surface. Many were on the life boats and rafts filled to capacity. In some rafts, the people trying to cling to their sides were inhospitably pushed away by their occupants. In others, they were kindly treated. One man with a life vest was floating when a life boat passed by. He asked in English: Is there still a room for me? An occupant shouted at him: "Mapatay ka na English ka pa (you are about to die, you are still speaking English)." Happily, he was accommodated.

We're Digging a bit Deep..

I can't recount the events because I was less than a year old at the time.

I was on the last trip of that ship heading from Bacolod to Manila. I was on my way to visit my aunt who lived there.

Or so I was told..

I'd like to note the last quote in the article.

Stupid fuckin Filipinos.

Cancerous

Found while cleaning: The number of packs smoked in a span of two weeks. I really have to invest in this newfangled "trashcan" invention...

This is to illustrate how clean my kitchen has gotten. Isn't it great?

Oh yeah.. check out the hat. You wish you had one.

Ahem

Let's not dwell on my not posting in almost a month. Let's just get down to business. I do love stories. =) Especially ones from the old country...

barkada (bar-ka-da)

n. gang

It really is a shame that the ilonggo dictionary has only that as a translation for the word. Ilonggo is the dialect that I spoke when I lived in the old country.

The true meaning of the word would be a set a friends that one hangs out with on a regular basis. Minus the weaponized bottle cap flingers, we were hardly a gang. I'd describe it more as a crew. Yes. A crew. And I was their fearless leader:

Bon-bon as mentioned in one of my earlier stories this kid is the son of a driver. His father drove the cars of his boss who lived next door to me.

Bon-bon was the closest to what I would consider a best friend. He mostly wore hand me down clothing acquired from what the natives called relief. Relief were supplies provided by wealthier nations and individuals. Kind of like the Salvation Army. It may be trendy here, but it was a way of life there.

He was never going to amount to anything, that kid. My last sighting of him is up for review. I wasn't really sure if it was him or not, but it definately resembled him.

It was during my trip to the homeland a couple of years ago. I was visiting my childhood apartment and at the street corner was a man roughly my age with a brown bag which, I can only assume, hid a bottle of alcohol. I wanted to say hello to him.. but thought better of it.

Norman was mentioned in the above story as well. He was very feminine in his ways, which was understandable. He didn't really live in what normal humans would call an apartment. His home was the back room of a tailorshop/wig store/watch repair shop/beauty salon/dentist office.

The store wasn't very big. It was about half the size of a small Radio Shack store. At any given moment, there would be several colorful individuals in the store.

His father was the tailor. My parents went there a lot to get their clothing resized.

The wig store/beauty salon was run by a gaggle of cross dressing fags. They were so good at their craft that they actually looked like women. These men were the source of Norman's feminine ways. It wouldn't surprise me if he was a crossdressing piece of faggot himself these days.

I hated Norman. I hated him because I thought he was gay. I punched him several times in the stomach.

JR, pronounced Jay Ar, was really gay. He lived in yet another backroom of a shop ran by his parents. It was a restaurant/video game setup.

His parents were one of those people who tried desperately to look like they have money. The fact of the matter was, the restaurant didn't do too well. They served food that literally looked like shit.

One time, I was looking at their display window, and on a plate was something that resembled something that came out of a human anus. It was shaped like a banana and it was brown. I have no clue as to what it was, but I would never eat there.

I came to the conclusion that JR was really gay when, at the tender age of 10, I was hanging out with him in his bedroom. He dropped his pants and tried to jump on me on the bed. I pushed him off of me and ran out of there. It was scary.

One time, during the month of December, we were out in the courtyard of the storage place next door to me. We had just put together a homemade firecracker, pieced together from parts of other homemade firecrackers. We did that because we thought it'd make a bigger bang.

I really should've figured out how fuses worked before lighing the sucker... The "fuse" burned into the bomb and after holding our breaths awaiting the expected destruction, our creation did nothing.

JR walked up to the firecracker and picked it up.

And then it exploded.

He stared at his hand for what seemed like an eternity. I counted his fingers and saw that they were still all there. He then et out the most high pitched scream I ever heard and he started running.

Norman, Bon-bon, Jose and I all ran after him. He made a beeline straight into his parent's store and jumped on his father's lap, screaming.

Ah, memories.

There were others in my sordid cast of poverty stricken friends, but those are the three main players.

There you have it. Now I can start telling more stories without introducing them every time. Stay tuned.