September 12, 2006
Character Development
Hey! Assholes!
Random randomness
It has come to my attention that I haven't seen any of my friends in a while.
I've been prone to thinking that some of you might actually care about what I've been doing with myself.
Well, for the most part, I've just been hiding in my apartment. I got so caught up with not having anyone to hang out with that I've actually just been consumed with finding things to do on my own.
That's not a bad thing. And it doesn't mean that I haven't had any human contact, because I do make an effort to see other homo sapiens... if I feel like it.
Things people do when they've suddenly become a recluse:
1.Fill out myspace surveys.
Those of you who refuse to have a myspace account(even in sekret) have been missing out on my general smarminess through myspace surveys.
Why myspace surveys? Well, it's mostly because I like to "impress" sub-real, self-consumed people. I love getting myspace messages on how awesome I am, etc etc.
Let me provide you with an example on the kinda of issues that I address through this medium:
Name of your First Grade Teacher?
Oh. She was some fuckin bitch. I don't remember her, but man was she stupid as all hell.
Oh!. Mrs. Ong. FUCK YOU MRS ONG. How dare you put dreams in my head like "being President of the United States?!" You stupid fucking cunt. Non-natives can't be President. I hope you're rotting in a hut in the Philippines as I write this.
Yay, for interesting.
2. Grow more hair. Everywhere.
There are some disadvantages to being Asian. Fortunately, I am Sagien and none of those disadvantages apply to me.
Especially not the small penis.
Or growing manly facial hair.
I'm going for that evil Asian villain look. I want to be that guy who you just take one look at and decide "romg he's so badass and I want his babies."
This is actually a lot harder to pull off than one might think. It's not because I'm a "nice guy", because I'm far from being that. I am an asshole, as most of you already know. I revel in the recognition of my bastardly ways.
No, that's not what making the evil Asian villain look hard to pull off. It is damn near impossibe to convey the fact that I want to eat your babies.
Plus I smile a lot, and my smile is oh so boyish and it captures your imagination and just sends your collective stomachs a-flutter.
3. Dawson's Creek
It's a coming of age story. Lot's of teen angst and such. It makes you want to grab a pillow and just clutch it close to your chest and lay on your couch in the fetal position.
All that while thinking thoughts about your own personal relationships.
And then you tell one of your friends that Dawson has been a huge part of your life for the last two months and that when you watched the last episode you "cried like the time you cried when Data(from Star Trek, not goonies) died.
You then go into a dizzying spiral of trying to defend yourself and your television viewing habits. You bring up good points about how watching eight to nine episodes a day is just because you're trying to be efficient and not because you desperately want to see if Joey Potter will ever have sex with Dawson Leery...
4. Work.
I've become tremendously obsessed with my job. That's all I have to say about that.
--
In any case, that's what I've been doing with myself. Well, not all of what I've been doing with myself, just the ones I'm willing to share for the sake of posting something on this site cuz NOBODY ELSE DOES.
And I am very disappointed how Aficionado wouldn't stoop to my level.
Fuckin cocksuckers.