October 15, 2003
Gaytard Magazine (Quarterly)
As Editor-in-Chief and Founder of Gaytard Magazine (Quarterly), I am pleased to announce this years candidates for… GAYTARD OF THE YEAR!
This is last years summer issue with long-time Gaytard of the Year, mincus. Look at how proud he is to be emblazoned across the front of the page for the 12th time in a row.
This is a picture of this season’s cover. Who will win?
The candidates are as follows:
mincus – I mean, why mess with perfection? He had a good shot this year, but, then he went and fucked it up. I won’t say how. Okay, yes I will: He had sex. There, I said it. That’s why it was revoked! Gaytards don’t have sex! They don’t even have girlfriends! Or talk to girls! You broke a major rule of engagement! You went below the hard-deck! Ah, Christ. FOUR YEARS! RIGHT DOWN THE DRAIN! Eh, whatever.
animplodingvoice – a really sweet guy. And as we all know, sweet guys don’t get laid. A perfect candidate. I almost want to give him his own advice column in the magazine. Plus, girls think he’s gay. So, that’s major points for him.
wombat (Finaldraftx) – I like to nominate myself every year for the hell of it. I never win though, because, well, I have sex. And as fundamentally unjust as it is that I’ve had sex and mincus has not – well, that used to be true… See! This years contest is all screwed up. You don’t fuck with things, mincus! You’re meddled with the space/time continuum. You took something precious like Gaytard of the Year and turned it into a sleaze contest. Or something.
clarusTNB – as far as I know, this guy has sex. But, he’s still kinda gaytarded. And, really, that’s what it comes down to in the end.
If there are any other nominations, please feel free to comment. The contest will go on until the end of November. Also, I will need a picture of the person to stick on the magazine. You can send the pictures to...
Largemanx@hotmail.com
Also, don’t forget about naming my band. Keep ‘em comin.’
Oh. My. God. I'm stunned.
Posted by: April at October 15, 2003 04:31 PMDo we vote for gaytard?
Posted by: sagien at October 15, 2003 04:31 PMI think that since I was Gaytard of the quarter for all 4 quarters of the year, that I should be the only candidate possible regardless of current gaytarded status.
Posted by: mincus at October 15, 2003 07:05 PMI vote for my brother, Rob... Rob the guitarist.
Posted by: baloo at October 15, 2003 08:29 PMJUST A NOTE:
Once a nomination is made, it must be seconded to get the person into contention.
~Wombat
i nominate my brother.
hes prime example of a flamming homosexual.
go nick!
or for mincus to win again..
Posted by: jez at October 16, 2003 12:32 AMI second Rob. Rob for Gaytard
Posted by: sagien at October 16, 2003 10:42 AMI nominate Sagien, he stated himself that he doesn't get laid, and if you read that last blog entry it's pretty gay and/or retarded.
Posted by: Brahmus at October 16, 2003 10:56 AMJon King is a Cockpouch.
Posted by: Anon at December 23, 2003 12:23 PM