SOMERS POINT, NJ -- A tremor was felt last night by natives of Somers Point, NJ, lasting approximately 45 minutes. Witness say it was between the time of 10:15 pm and 11pm.
"I was just getting a hotdog," said Marcus Wayne. "I was at the Wawa there, and the next thing I knew, my asshole was bleeding. But, it didn't hurt. (laughs) Seriously. You would think something like that would be unpleasant, but, this time it was, I dunno... almost uplifting."
The source of the mysterious tremor seemed to be the local pub "Schooners."
We arrived at around midnight to ask some of the people in the bar what happened.
"Dude, I don't even fuckin' know," said Lou Vaag. "We were sitting here, and then this band got up on stage... 45 minutes later, everyone was fuckin' dead. Like, no one could even walk. I don't know what happened."
One of the women at the bar said, "I blacked out from orgasm. I don't know what sort of energy surged through this place -- I think I remember reading something about power lines when I was a kid, being too low, maybe? -- But, whatever it was... I hope it happens again. I feel bad for the guys in the band. I was too busy having orgasm upon orgasm to actually hear them. I think they were good, though. I guess. I'm a little tired if you know what I mean."
Posted by wombat at January 11, 2004 03:43 PM