wombat

LUCAS CHANGES TITLE

"It just makes more sense," says Lucas.

SKYWALKER RANCH -- In a press conference held today on Skywalker Ranch, George Lucas, CEO of Lucasfilm Ltd., announced that he would be re-titleing the release of the upcoming final StarWars picture.

"It just makes more sense this way," says Lucas. "Even though filmmaking is an art form, we still have to remain competetive."

Earlier this summer Lucas had announced that Episode III would be sub-titled "Revenge of the Sith."

"But, that just wasn't working. We weren't getting the numbers we needed."

After fielding more questions seeking reasons for the change, he announced the new title.

"It will now be known as 'StarWars Episode III: Return of the King'."

Gasps and "Oh, brother's" could be heard coming from the crowd. One reporter even comment "Tsch. Jesus Christ."

Then, he revealed the new poster.

When confronted with the notion that the poster didn't reflect the title change, and that it was clear that he had become self-indulgent, Mr. Lucas countered with "Are YOU George Lucas?" He then held up two middle fingers, quoting "May the force be with you bastards."

He then spoke into an imaginary intercom, apparently attached to his lapel, and said "Release the whomp rats." Then, we were told by an associate to get off the property "before Mr. Lucas became angry and used his magic." The associate was reading off an index card that had just been handed to him.

This is truely a tragic end to a once great movie franchise, and a set of what once was, a classic trilogy.

Posted by wombat at August 28, 2004 09:19 AM