wombat

tsunami causes changes in weather, vernacular

Newark, NJ -- The scientific community at MIT have taken readings in Earth's motion that determine that we are, in fact, "wobbling" after the tsunami that struck several months ago.

"We've always wobbled," said Dr. Johnston Kjell of MIT. "The problem now is that we're wobbing more, causing a greater fluxuation in weather."

The reading concluded that spring will feel more like winter almost through May, and eventually warming up to summer temperatures come mid-June.

But, the bigger find, althoug somewhat connected, was by Dr. Edward Feshing of Newark, NJ, in a study of demographic psychology.

"The collective unconscious works strangely," he said. "It's hard to determine changes without a broad study. It can get very expensive, but, I think we found something interesting."

In a field study conducted by 80 scientists, each infiltrating a clique (or group of peers), a very odd discovery was made.

"It seems it's no longer cool to say 'cool' anymore," concluded Dr. Feshing. "In the past year it's only cool to say 'hot.' We believe this is directly related to the weather remaining cold. All evidence points to this shift in vernacular being a subconscious yearning for the seasonal changes to return."

Harvey Glib, one of the field scientists, and 23 years old, had this to say:

"Some chick came up to me in Philly and pointed at my red shoe laces and was like 'Yo, that's hot,' yet, the girls in, say, California didn't talk like that. They still say 'cool.' Which makes sense, because it's never cold in California. Not how it is in Philly, anyway. It was totally sweet."

Mr. Glib is from Ontario.

Posted by wombat at April 25, 2005 02:41 PM