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INDIE-POP ICONS TO CHANGE NAME

NEW YORK, NY -- In a press conference, wherein resides a forever dropping fanbase of Chuck Taylor All-Star-wearing hipsters, Rivers Cuomo, front man and songwriter for the idie-pop quartet Weezer announced that he would be changing the name of the band.

"We will no longer be known as 'Weezer'," he said. "Henceforth we will be known as 'Shitty Weezer.'"

Flashes exploded as Rivers immediately fled the podium. Drummer Pat Wilson, the only person in the room to clap for the announcement, took the podium to defend his long-time bandmade.

"Henceforth?" asked the first reporter. "What's that about?"
"The name?" answered Pat Wilson.
"I mean, like... Why'd he say it like that?"
"You know what the word means, right?"
"Yeah, but..."
"Next!"

When asked why the addition of such a derogatory prefix to their name, Wilson said "It's about removing a quasi-positive stigma that has been attached to us since Pinkerton [the bands 2nd album, well recieved by their biggest fans] that has, over the years, turned sour. It seems all we do is dissappoint our fans now. It's kind of like admitting that we're bad at being ourselves anymore."

Several other questions were asked with the monotone response "No comment."

"You really don't have a comment?"
"Well, I dunno. I just thought it would be funny to say."
"Has Rivers lost his mind?"
"I dunno. No comment."
The reporter laughed and sat down. "Ok," she said.
"No, I meant that," said Wilson. "I really would rather not comment on that one."

-- Associated Press