July 20, 2005

TWO ASSHOLES MAKE COMMENTS ABOUT EACH OTHER, OTHER ASSHOLES

SOUTH JERSEY, NJ -- The internet today sidestepped its nomal M.O. of kindness and information exchange to make room for being rude and idiotic.

The self-proclaimed "Sun God" Sagien ripped verbally into a rather easy target today in what is being hailed as "the most dramatic grapple between two retards ever witnessed" by MSNBC.

"He just had it coming," claims Sagien.

Witnesses -- er, "readers," that is -- has a slew of comments ranging from "Dude, homeboy is retarded, step off," to "Very well put."

Winfield's statement -- a stammering flood of banalities -- could not be transcribed into a cohesive thought, so, the following conversation was fabricated by eye-witness accounts of past stupidity.

winfield: yeah, okay, [sagien]...
sagien: you're still in high school.
winfield: oh, okay, [sagien]
sagien: seriously, dude...
winfied: oh, okay [sagien]
sagien: whatever.

[long pause]

sagien: you still there?
winfield: oh, okay, [sagien]...

(*note: all periods in the form of melodramatically spastic elipses have been deleted for ease of reading.)

Sagien was quoted as saying "It was a much happier place, this internet, yesterday. I wish we could all go back there. But, some people refuse to grow up." He took a drag on his cigarette and capped off with, "I think we know who I mean..."

Eventually, Winfield calmed enough to say "Fuck, I don't care. I really don't. Fuck it, man. The internets is gay anyway."

--A.P.

Posted by wombat at July 20, 2005 07:20 PM
Comments

Asshole! Other!

Posted by: shftleft at July 21, 2005 09:48 AM

I am in love with "the internets is gay anyway." That is as good as if not better than "That shit costs expensive".

Posted by: Winfield at July 21, 2005 04:19 PM

I like your web site.

Posted by: pennyuglypappas at October 15, 2005 10:29 AM

penny ugly pappas looks like she has a mouthful of crackerjacks

Posted by: dirt. at October 16, 2005 03:42 PM
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