wombat

It's like the Pepsi Challenge...

...except there's no hidden soft drinks. Instead, there's NyQuil and masturbating.

Late last night in the ISSF chatroom, I mentioned that I was going to go home, drink some NyQuil and go to sleep. Upon my declaration I was challenged by Dirt to try and rub one out before slumber fell.

(note: the following is a facsimile to the best of my memory the conversation that took place in the ISSF chatroom.)

Dirt: olde
Dirt: shoppe
Dirt: you get what im saying
Dirt: why are [people of african decent] so stupid?
Jezebel: :)
Jezebel: omg
wombat: im gonna go home and take nyquil
Jezebel: my friends are good people
wombat: they're morons
Dirt: wait. [wombat] you gotta try something
Jezebel: theyre not, though
wombat: hm?
Dirt: you gotta try to jack off after you take it
wombat: the nyquil?
Dirt: yea i cant do it.
wombat: i'll give it a try
wombat: how long after i take it do i have to wait?
Dirt: give it some time.

Here are the minutes of the experiment:

12:30 -- get home, smoke a cigarette, write for a bit.
1:00 -- turn on Nick at Nite, take required dose of NyQuil.

* I figured half and hour was long enough to wait before trying to jerk-off, so, I watched an episode of Fresh Prince, which, btw, didn't help my cause.

1:30 -- another episode of Fresh Prince begins. Cock in hand, I begin enticing myself into arrousal. Fresh Prince still not helping as it was NOT a Jazz-heavy episode.

2:15 -- Semi-erection achieved. Not my best effort, but, I've worked with less.

2:20 -- I'm ready to go. The beating begins.

2:30 -- As the credits for the Cosby Show roll I head for the bathroom, look at my Zeus-like physique in the mirror. For a moment I am distracted by new tattoo, wondering if it will heal correctly. Maybe porn will help? But, can I risk the walk across the room? By the time I get there my pathetic attempt at getting hard may wear off. So, I decide against it.

2:40 -- Still going. Chaffing begins. Close my eyes. Think about the last time I had sex. Seems to work. Erection getting stronger. I'm doing well!

2:50 -- Mind still wandering from task to tomorrows activities -- make flyers for studios, record a little, check if unemployment came through, write a little. Get my mind back to masturbating. Watch myself in mirror. Doesn't work.

3:00 -- Inkling of orgasm is felt. I may actually pull this off. Start thinking about Dirt and how proud he'd be.

3:01 -- Thoughts of Dirt not helping.

3:02 -- Turn on porn. Skip to the money shots. This is helping. Feeling orgasmic sensations again.

3:05 -- Back in the bathroom. Smooth sailing now.

3:07 -- Success.

3:15 -- Back in bed, thinking of Dirt and how proud he'd be. Think of writing a letter to NyQuil about how their medicine did not defeat me, and how I'm stronger than their OTC elixer.

3:17 -- Fading away as Roseanne comes on. It's dark now. Visions fill my head of dancing in a field of winning penises all with letters of appology and a year's supply of NyQuil.

3:22 -- Sleep.

Posted by wombat at September 20, 2005 01:47 PM